"Schwartz Center Rounds Annual Dinner"

I'm happy to announce that fifteen of my paintings are going to be on display (October 3, 2011) at Overlook Medical Center, as part of their "Schwartz Center RoundsAnnual Dinner." The event facilitator, Jeanne is a friend of mine. She and I met online about six months (through my many searches about palliative care and hospice). She is the "Ethics & Palliative Care Program Coordinator" at Overlook Hospital (here in NJ). I had contacted her, asking about patient's rights and shared a brief history about my accident, and my struggles. It turned out that she and I shared a mutual acquaintance (from Kessler). We shared email correspondences over a period of several months, and she was very moved by my blogs and artwork. Before long we became friends. She has been very supportive, and caring.

She came to visit me a couple of months ago, and we discussed the possibility of displaying some of my artwork at the hospital. She explained that she worked very closely with doctors, nurses and other medical professionals and thought that the medical community at her hospital could benefit from seeing my paintings and reading my writing. She said that part of her job entailed helping new doctors and nurses learn to be more compassionate and empathetic to patient's needs. I agreed, and was happy for the opportunity. I have often felt frustrated by the lack of help that medical science has been able to offer me, and upset by the treatments and lifestyle that I'm forced to endure because of my injury. I do believe my artwork could potentially help medical professionals better understand what it is like to live paralysis, and to suffer with chronic pain and illness. It has always been my hope, that by sharing my writing and my artwork that I would educate others and open people's hearts and minds.

I truly believe in order for a cure to paralysis being found, more people must understand how horribly and profoundly it can change a person's life and how difficult it can be to live with it, everyday. I have also come to believe strongly in patient's having the right to advocate for themselves and to have the right to die with dignity (when medical science can not offer a cure or relief to severely debilitating or incurable illness/conditions). I think it is important for medical professionals to do everything within their means to give patients the highest quality of life they possibly can, to listen to what their patients are saying and to alleviate suffering whenever possible.

I think it is crucial for the medical community and society at large, to recognize that some conditions are worse than death, and when/if a patient is mentally competent to asses his/her own situation, that he/she alone should be able to determine what lengths he/she is willing to go through to preserve his/her own life and those wishes should be respected. In many ways, I feel our society is more "humane" to our pets than we are to millions of people that are essentially forced into suffering, because there is no cure, or treatment available to alleviate their pain. Not everyone with an incurable, terminal, debilitating disease or injury would choose death, over life. However, I believe there ought to be a quick, peaceful alternative available to those who want it. I hope my artwork and my writing will inspire change.

I think this dinner at Overlook hospital is another small step in my journey to open hearts and minds towards suffering, quality of life and death. I really hope my works hits a soft spot and sinks in, for all the medical professionals that attend. I hope it makes an impact.The dinner itself is an annual event, and has an interesting history. I feel honored to be included in the tradition. I asked Jeanne to tell me a little bit about the purpose of the dinners and about their collective history. This is what she sent me:

"Schwartz Center Rounds were started by Kenneth B. Schwartz, a health care attorney from Boston, who died from lung cancer at a young age. He wanted to leave a legacy of support for professional healthcare workers to enhance and replenish their abilities to provide compassionate care for patients and families. He recognized that some of the most important work of healthcare professionals is to deliver compassion to their patients (hand holding, listening, laughing, combing hair, etc.).

The purpose of the monthly Rounds are to provide a forum and “level playing field” where caregivers from diverse disciplines (doctors, nurses, social workers, chaplains, dietary workers, etc.) discuss difficult emotional and social issues that arise in caring for patients. It is a forum to explore the human and emotional side of clinical medicine ---but with the focus on the patient-caregiver relationship rather than solely on the patient’s medical situation. Even though doctors and nurses cannot cure many conditions/diseases, they can still relate to one another and to patients and families in a way that provides hope, support and sustenance to the healing process.

We have these Rounds monthly and usually present a case that was difficult or emotional in some way. We often shed tears. Once a year, we hold a special “Rounds” where we invite a patient or family member to share their views about the experience they had. As you can see, your artwork and story will be a very powerful topic for discussion and expression of feelings from all.

Your paintings and your voice will carry your story to the hearts of each of those who come and will strengthen their ability to reflect on the suffering of all patients."

Good stuff :) I'm excited to hear the feedback!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sketchbook Is Finally Digitized & Online!

Last year I entered an Art House Co-Op project, called "Sketchbook Project: 2011." Each artist was asked to choose a theme from a list of predesignated themes (I chose "Help!") and sent a 80 page sketchbook. The only requirements were to fill the sketchbook according to the theme you chose & send it back. Each sketchbook was given a barcode for tracking purposes. About 10,000 artists participated & the sketchbooks were taken on a cross country tour, to multiple exhibits, where people from all different states could look through them. Once the tour was concluded, the books were all brought back to the Brooklyn Art Library and some were digitized (if you chose to pay the additional fee) as part of Art House Co-op's digital library.

Since I do all my artwork by mouth, it was much easier for me to create the sketches/artwork for my sketchbook on my iPad & print them out. I created a description page and image for each two page layout. The book is now digitized and available for viewing through my Art House Co-op profile, or directly through this link (www.arthousecoop.com/library/4604).

It took me months to fill the book. Unlike painting, I can work on my digital artwork in bed. Since I haven't been well enough to get up & paint as often as I'd like (these last couple of years) my iPad has given me a new outlet for artistic expression. I thought this project would be a great way to help raise awareness about paralysis & spinal cord injuries. The theme "Help!" fit in perfectly with my intent to ask people to help me (and the millions of people suffering with paralysis world wide) by supporting research for a cure to paralysis. All the sketches, digital images & collages I included in my sketchbook are about my struggles with my accident, my injury and my life with paralysis.

I'm pleased with how the book turned out (with the exception of the first two page layout- my collage was pasted upside down by mistake). I'm hoping that now it is available online for viewing it will get a lot hits, and get people thinking about paralysis & spinal cord injuries. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I hope my artwork has an impact on the people that see it. I want to open people's eyes, educate the general public & hopefully inspire some people to support research & advocate for a cure. I'd love to hear feedback & please share the link with friends! Thanks <3


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Virtual Art

I've always been on the fence in terms of how I feel towards virtual art. On one hand, I don't see it as "Fine Art," and tend to place a higher value on traditional materials: paint, chalk, ink, clay, plaster, pastels, canvas, etc. I think this is because I recognize the skill, work & cost that's involved in traditional art work, and am more familiar working with traditional supplies.. On the other hand, I can't deny that training and skill are just as important in the digital arena. Besides, let's face it, when it comes to discussing art, creativity trumps it all. Creativity aside, the cost of materials, time and labor do factor in, in terms of value. With virtual art, the artist has to invest in the equipment and software necessary to produce work, however those materials do not deplete with use and results can be infinitely copied. With traditional materials, every work of art is guaranteed to be unique.

There's something to be said for the interaction between an artist and his/her tools of trade. It is a totally different experience when you physically interact with tangible materials, versus simulated versions. The results may be similar, but the artist is missing out on the kinesthetic experience, when he/she creates their artwork through virtual means. As an artist, I love the different smells, textures and feel of working with different materials. Each material has a unique feel to it and reacts differently depending on what you mix it with and what techniques you use.

Being a disabled artist, there are so many things that I miss out on, due to my paralysis. The freedom to use a variety of materials is one of the many things I can no longer do. Although I still paint, there are tons of other materials and tools that are not suited well to be used with my mouth. Plus, the sensations of feeling things with your hands is totally different from the sensations you might feel using your foot or mouth. Even switching from one hand to another can be a new experience. If you've ever tried working with your weaker hand, I'm sure you can relate.

I miss being able to feel the tension of the scissors as they press down on the paper, and the sound the paper makes, as you slice through it. I miss the smoothness of gliding markers across paper and the smells of the ink. I miss being able to fold, crinkle, pinch, pull, glue, cut, tear and tape paper. I was never really good with clay, but miss experimenting with it. Clay can be cold and wet or oily and slimy. You can squish clay through your fingers and mold it with your hands. Building a sculpture might mean chipping away at a stone, welding metal together or sawing pieces of wood. Two materials I don't miss are chalk and charcoal. I hate the feeling of chalk: the dustiness of it, the scratchy sound it makes on paper and the dryness in creates in my hands. Some people love using chalk and charcoal, because it's great for drawing and easy to create values, by rubbing or smearing it. All of the common materials for two dimensional artwork can be simulated with computer software. Many art programs can mimic how materials blend and overlap as well. However, with digital art, you lose out on tactile texture. You can print out a picture that looks rough in texture, but it will only have the smooth surface of the paper.

Most traditional art supplies are messy. Materials like chalk, pastels and crayons are meant to be held, and often times have no covering and you must touch them directly with your skin. Such materials are not suited well for using your mouth. There are many supplies that I'd need to greatly modify or cover to use them. Although I could add coverings to make certain materials safe to put in my mouth, it often makes the materials cumbersome and awkward to grip. Wet materials like paint and ink work best for mouth art, because they are designed to be applied with instruments (brushes and pens) and provide the artist with a much safer distance to the material and work surface. The other challenge to mouth art, is that it is not easy to work in color (other than paint) or erase. Constantly having to switch out markers or color pencils is annoying and the inability to flip the pencil over, or needing a separate eraser is frustrating. There are many materials I avoid, because it is not worth the aggravation. For me, the paintbrush is the easiest to control, correct and use color. Using my mouth is also very different from using my hands and while I'm grateful to be able to at least paint, it's an entirely new experience.

I'll admit, virtual art also takes skill and talent. With most professional grade art software, you still need to start out with good drawing skills and knowledge of color. There's tons of high tech software that requires training. Most computer artists and animators have to know how to translate 3D objects onto a flat surface, mimic lighting effects and textures. Artists that make computer animation need strong understanding of traditional drawing skills (pencil and paper), before they pick up a mouse and a keyboard. I realize that most professional digital artists have fine art backgrounds as part of their training. The thing that irks me about digital art, is that there are a lot of cheaper programs out there that let the average person cut, paste and tweak photos or prefab images and then call it art. It's similar to professional photographers using an SLR 35mm manual camera, versus Joe Shmoe with his point and click, fully automatic, digital camera. It just gets on my nerves when untrained people make cookie cutter art and pass it off as original, fine art. It's totally different if you create original digital art, using your own ideas and skills. Unfortunately, the average person doesn't always know what they're looking at or the work (or lack thereof) involved in creating a work of art. That is why I sometimes get annoyed when I see "art" made from prefab clip art or someone just fooling around with filter effects on Photoshop. I feel that some computer programs make it too easy to create "digital art", which detracts from the validity and skill involved in making true, high quality art (digital or traditional).

Despite my misgivings with digital art, I've embraced the future and have begun experimenting with different possibilities. Sharing information on the materials and process I use, with the viewer, is an important part of adding value and validity to my art. I figure, if viewers are informed about the different types of software out there, they can better assess the work for themselves. It's important to me that people know what goes into making each piece and the ideas behind it. As long as I stick to that plan, I feel confident about showing my digital art, alongside my traditional paintings.

Technology has given me back the ability to easily sketch and draw with color. Although I was already familiar with Photoshop and Paint, using the mouse makes it very difficult for me to maintain control or accuracy. The program that works best for me is Sketchbook Pro, which is on my iPad. The iPad is wonderful, because it uses touch and I can draw directly on the screen, as if I were using a paintbrush, or pen. I can easily swap colors, textures (mimicking different materials), erase and store my work. I was pleasantly surprised (and shocked) at how precise you can be on it, using a stylus and at how well it simulates various materials. The other great thing about the iPad is that it's compact and light. There's no mess involved either, so I'm free to draw almost anywhere, including in bed. It has been wonderful being able to draw and sketch again.

So far I've posted a handful of drawings on my Flickr site. I also signed up for "Project Sketchbook", which is through the Arthouse Co-op. I'll be using my iPad to create all the sketches I plan to use in my book. Once the sketchbook is full, it'll get mailed back to the Co-op in Brooklyn. The sketches will ultimately go on tour across the country to several exhibits and finally stored in the Brooklyn Art Library, where people can access the drawings in person or online. I'll be able to keep track of where my book is and who's seen it. It's a great chance to raise awareness for spinal cord injuries and so far it's been fun working on it.

One other digital art venture I recently took part in was an online contest for a game I play, called "Super Poke Pets!" or "SPP" for short. The game is by Slide and available to play on social networking sites, like Facebook and Myspace. In the game you adopt a virtual pet and earn points and virtual coins, by caring for it and by having play dates with your friend's virtual pets. The coins you earn are used to buy items to decorate your pet's habitat. Players can place as many items in their habitats as they like, in an infinite amount of ways. There are millions of people that currently play and they have a rather active online forum, where players can share ideas, trade items and show off their habitats. I fell in love with game for it's cute style and open ended possibilities for creativeness. I enjoy going on the forums and seeing how other people decorate their habitats. The staff chooses a handful of the best habitat entries each week and winners get a special collector's badge and their habitat earns a spot in the game's hall of fame. There are tons and tons of amazing habitats and really creative, innovative ways that players use the in game items to create pictures. I enter my creations from time to time as well.

Back in January, I entered a picture I made, called "Picasso Inspired Habitat," which was inspired by Picasso's painting, " Girl Before a Mirror." In the picture I recreated Picasso's original painting and then added a detail of the girl's face and her reflection on each side. It was really well received and I ended up winning the "Staff Choice Award" badge and it was added to the hall of fame. It was pretty cool getting the recognition and getting to see my habitat pop up on the hall of fame window, every once in a while. They also contacted me about sharing my story with an LA Times reporter. Apparently, they had my habitat hanging in the office and they pitched the idea to the reporter, who was covering something else for Slide. I was happy to talk with them, figuring it'd be more exposure for SCIs on the west coast. We did a phone interview, but the reporter said she couldn't promise that anything would be printed. She was just interested in the story & how I created the picture. So far no word back from them about it.

Then, about a month ago, a staff member from SPP emailed me and I thought it might be regarding the newspaper article. Instead, it was about a new series of items they planned on releasing. They sell gold items, which cost real money and one of the series they do is called the "Masterpiece" series. Each masterpiece is an SPP recreation (which replaces people with SPP pets) of a famous painting and sells for about $50. The masterpieces are rare releases and purchasers get a special badge for buying them. The new series they wrote to me about, is called "Community Classics" and each gold item is a replica of community members' habitats. They are equally as rare as masterpieces, sell for $20 and also grant buyers a badge. To my surprise, they decided to use my Picasso habitat as their first "Community Classic" item! I got a special creator badge, $25 worth of game gold and my own item. It was super exciting getting to see my picture on the Facebook announcement and in the forums. I got to write about the picture (included in the forum post) and it was great exposure for my cause. I've gotten a ton of nice comments and feedback and it's been a good opportunity to promote my website.

2009: A Year in Review

2009 was a very busy year for me!

I had my work exhibited in two galleries. The first exhibit was held at the Arts Unbound gallery, from July to September. During that time, I also participated in a filming of an episode of the show Soul Survivors. The show is about people that have had traumatic, life changing experiences and how they have overcome them. The show is produced by Ebru TV. Ebru TV is currently available through the cable provider RCN (unfortunately this provider is not in New Jersey), online on the Ebru TV official website and via satellite (not Direct TV, an actual satellite dish that uses specific coordinates). Apparently, EbruTV producers discovered my story through my involvement with the Association for Mouth and Foot Painting Artists and contacted me through them.The episode is about my accident and the impact it's had on my life; as well as how I use art to cope with my situation and help others by raising awareness. We filmed the episode on two separate occasions, which included a sit down interview and painting demonstration at my apartment and at the reception for the Arts Unbound exhibit. The episode has already aired on cable (RCN), and is now available to download and watch online. I'm waiting for permission to include the video on my site as well. Despite my ability to find a million flaws in myself; I'm very pleased at the final result. I'm hoping to share it with as many people as I possibly can! I think they did a wonderful job in putting my story together (there are just two mistakes on the captions, which include: the date of my accident and the fact that I was familiar with pool). I'm hoping to use the video as a teaching tool, in my efforts to raise awareness.

This past September to October I had a solo exhibit at Kean University (my alma mater). The exhibit featured about 15 of my paintings and was held in the student gallery. The exhibit was a big hit! I was so pleased at the turn out for the opening reception and am continually greatful to my friends (mostly ex-professors of mine) in the Kean community for their support. I got to know a lot of faculty and staff when I was an undergraduate student and have remained in touch with many of them. As an added bonus, all incoming freshman received flyers about the show and information about spinal cord injuries. I worked as a freshman advisor for three years during my years at Kean and was thrilled at the opportunity to reach out to so many people, especially college freshman who are in the most common age bracket for spinal cord injuries. News 12 (NJ cable news station) also filmed the exhibit. I'm working with John Bathke, who is a reporter for News 12 and host of his own show, called On the Scene. The show focuses on local artists, actors and musicians. I was filmed at the gallery and here in my home, similarly to Soul Survivors. I'm still working on the painting for that show and look forward to seeing it once it's all put together. I will of course, let everyone know when it is due to air and I'm waiting to hear if it can be included on my website.

As for 2010, I will be participating in another Ebru TV show called Blank Canvas and continuing to paint. I'm hoping to exhibit more in the future and work on maintaining and improving my website. In the end, all my efforts are to help raise awareness and support for a cure to paralysis. I'm praying 2010 will bring about exciting breakthroughs and new treatments, ideally a cure.

Life; Paralyzed Exhibit, Kean University

LIFE; PARALYZED EXHIBIT

I’m happy to report that my recent exhibit opening was a big success. This particular exhibit is my third art exhibit and second solo show. The exhibit is at Kean University, in their Student Art Gallery. The gallery is located in Vaughn-Eames, which is the art building. Vaughn-Eames has two art galleries on the first floor, as well as a small theater. The opening reception was held in the Vaughn-Eames building lobby, from two to five p.m., Sunday, September 13, 2009. The exhibit will be available for viewing until October, 2, 2009. If you have friends or family that live in the area, please tell about the show.

HISTORY

I am a Kean University alumnus; haven graduated in 2003 with a B.A. in Fine Art (K-12 teaching certification). I had begun taking graduate courses in painting in 2004, in addition to working full time as an art teacher. I didn’t “pick up” a paintbrush again until late 2005, due to my accident and resulting spinal cord injury. I began painting by mouth about six months post accident. Painting gave me back a sense of independence, as there is very little, to nothing that I can do myself, without assistance. Being able to paint again also gave me an escape (mentally), that I desperately needed, during the first year and a half after my injury. I would consider the first two years post accident the darkest days of my life, especially because I living in a nursing home. At first, I was solely interested in building up my skills and trying to hone my technique using my mouth. I painted mostly still life paintings during that period. It was also during that time that I applied to join the Association for Mouth and Foot Painters.

By the time I moved back into my own apartment in January, 2007, I felt pretty confident in my painting abilities. At that point I felt that I was at about the same skill level I had been prior to my accident. That said, painting is like any skill; it requires constant practice and there is always room for improvement. It was around this time that I began painting more personal artwork. Many of the first paintings I did were meant to go to the AMFPA, so I tried to paint things that would be most appropriate for greeting cards and calendars. My personal work is based on ideas I’ve been storing in my mind since my accident.

I hadn’t felt emotionally prepared to really delve into my feeling related to the accident until I was in my home. During that same year that I moved, a committee of my friends and family members were working on raising funds for me, for a modified van. The committee contacted local papers about my story, in hopes of raising more funds for the van. It was through my interviews with the newspaper journalists that I got my first chance to spread the message about spinal cord injuries and research. It felt great knowing that a large group of people would have access to my story and I would be able to educate people about paralysis. I began receiving feedback immediately, and was very touched that people appreciated me sharing my story.

Since then, I’ve made it my mission to advocate for a cure to paralysis. Early on, after my accident, I had created a website dedicated to advocacy, but I still wished I could do more. Although I was feeling good about my painting skills, I was still apprehensive to share my artwork. I’m a very self conscious person by nature, so at first I wasn’t overly thrilled about having my story (worst yet, my picture) plastered all over New Jersey. However, so many people were working hard to improve my situation that declining the invitations to do the interviews was never an option, in my mind. After the first couple of articles ran I received so much positive feedback that it gave me the courage to try and find other ways I could use my accident to help others. I received dozens of letters and cards of appreciation and I thought, “I’ve been given an opportunity to speak, not only for myself, but all these other people that are struggling just like me. If I’m given a chance to talk about my accident or share my work I better do it, otherwise it’d be an insult to all these people that don’t have a voice.”

Thanks to the publicity for the fundraiser I was able to meet other advocates and people that worked for various art and/or disability related organizations. It wasn’t until after the fundraiser that I started thinking that I might actually be able to publicly exhibit my work. I worked hard to try and build up enough paintings to have a small body of work, which I could show. I never lacked ideas. My accident had provided me with enough things to paint about for a lifetime. I just needed time to create a decent amount of work, while still fulfilling my obligations to the AMFPA. I decided to only exhibit my personal work, because I felt it was a way for people to understand paralysis in a way my words alone could not express. My still lives help me improve my technical skills, while my personal works give me an outlet to deal with all that I’ve been through. I wasn’t interested in selling (nor am I now) my paintings. I just wanted to exhibit them; for people to see them. I know when I first started working on my paintings my family and friends were a bit shocked or disturbed by the images. I remember my dad joking with me, “How about painting another one of those nice flower paintings?” I would joke back saying, “Dad no one is going to care about a cure if I portray my life as rainbows and butterflies.” I want people to see the reality of my situation. I’m guessing those closest to me feel the pain I put into my work a bit more acutely than a stranger, but even still, my dad and the rest of my inner circle understand my need to paint and are very supportive. I often wonder if I put on such a good act that people don’t realize what I’m really going through, until they see my work and that’s why it knocks them off their guard.

MY MOTIVATION

What’s important to me is that people can make a connection to my paintings. I’ve been fortunate so far, in that galleries have been willing to display my work. I plan to keep painting and hope I can continue to exhibit. I truly believe that if people make an emotional connection with something and/or are more informed about something, that the chances of them supporting that cause drastically increases. My current exhibit is so special to me because of my connection to the University. I spent so many hours of my life on campus (the majority in the VE art building), between classes, work and clubs, that Kean feels like a second home in a way. When I was an undergraduate I worked as a freshman advisor for three years. I got to know a wide variety of staff and faculty that I might have never met, if I hadn’t worked on campus. I consider many of my old coworkers and professors my friends and I remain in connect with them. It means a lot to me to be able to exhibit at my alma mater.

This show has given me the opportunity to share my story with thousands of students. Every incoming freshman will be given a flyer with information about my show and about spinal cord injuries. More importantly, they will learn about the bigger picture of paralysis and its effects. I’m using my life as an example and it’s my hope that can relate to me and not only support a cure, but to be aware of the choices they make every day and to be thankful for every day they are healthy. As far as spinal cord injuries go, all too many occur during the college age years. I hope my story will show students how fragile our lives really are and that I can help prevent spinal cord injuries in addition to teaching about them.

I’ll never claim to be a great artist; there are many others that are far better and more talented than me. Although, having an exhibit at Kean has definitely helped me to get over some of my insecurities. This is my first show that is not related to any disability related organization. Although I’m grateful to the other organizations I’ve worked with, and support their efforts one hundred percent, this exhibit at Kean has helped me deal with my disability in a way those other organizations couldn’t. It’s given me more confidence in the power of my message. I say this, because all the other organizations work specifically with “disabled artists.” I have a hard time dealing with that label, because it always makes me wonder why people are interested in my work. I don’t want people to take interest in my work because it was painted by a “disabled artist.” I want to be confident that people are interested in my work for the messages behind them. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to tell people I painted them with my mouth, although it is part of my life story. I feel like the work should be considered worthy on its own merit, regardless of how I created it. I fear that people might get distracted by the way I paint, instead of focusing on what I paint about. It is an inner struggle and having my first exhibit at a gallery that is open to all artists has been a big emotional boost for me. I think of my personal artwork as a tiny glimpse into my mind. It is my hope that when people look at my work they can feel what I feel, even if only for a moment. A moment in my shoes is more than enough time for anyone to realize the importance and immediacy of finding a cure for paralysis.

*Kean's Cougar's Byte review:

http://media.www.cougarsbyte.com/media/storage/paper738/news/2009/09/15/CampusNews/Unrestricting.Art-3771358.shtml?reffeature=popuarstoriestab

*My website: www.myspace.com/sci_cure

*Link to the exhibit flyer:
https://share.acrobat.com/adc/adc.do?docid=edc563a5-0c58-4db2-814d-9032983ecc3a