I'm quadriplegic (C4/C5 complete) due to a swimming accident in 2005. Before my injury, one of my favorite hobbies was playing video games. I'm thirty, and have been a gamer practically my entire life. The first gaming system I ever owned was a color computer, that hooked up to the TV and used huge eight track like cartridges. This was back around my kindergarten days, and I can remember using a simple joystick to play the Sesame Street educational games and a face maker game that I had for the system. My dad's a computer programmer. He had built his own hard drive at the time (1985), as well as owning an Amiga computer. I can remember being one of the only kids with a computer at home, in those days. We even had a color printer, with the old fashioned style paper, that had the holes down both sides & the perforated edges.
I remember learning "Basic" language in school, and using actual floppy (6 inch, skinny, floppy & square) disks to store our information. My second computer was a Comodore 64, which my brother handed down to me. TheComodore used floppy disks and Basic commands to "run" each game. It used simple joysticks to play the games, with one button. Some of my favorite games were: Quix, Friday the 13, Mission Impossible, B.C. Quest for Tires, Up & Down and Apple Cider Spider. At the time, my brother had the original NES. Both systems had hundreds of eight bit titles. Between the two of us we had dozens of games for each system. I can remember my best friend and I playing video games for hours! Growing up my friends and I also played outside a lot, played board games and with toys. Although we liked video games, our time glued in front of the television was more well balanced than it is for most kids today.
By the time my brother gave me his NES (around 1990), most of friends had one too. I fell in love with many of the Nintendo characters (Mario Bros., Yoshi, Toad, Princess Toadstool, Kirby & Zelda), and have been a loyal customer and fan ever since. When Super Nintento came out, my parents refused to buy it. I saved up my two dollar a week allowance and bought it for myself. I remember being so proud going to ToysRUs and handing over my huge wad of singles! SNES was a 16 bit console with a four button controller. It's funny, looking back, at how amazed I was by the graphics. I can actually remember saying how "real"' the graphics looked, which seems silly, compared to today's graphics. SNES remains to be my favorite console of all time, with some of my most loved games: Earthbound, Zelda: A Link to the Past, Super Mario World, Super Mario RPG, Tetris vs. Dr. Mario, Mario Kart, Bubsy and Donkey Kong Country. I've owned almost every Nintendo gaming system and/or handheld, with the exception of the most current system, the Wii.
At the time of my accident I had the three most current gaming systems at my apartment (I owned Gamecube & Xbox and my ex-boyfriend owned Playstation 2). I enjoyed playing games by myself and with friends in my spare time. In fact, the night of my accident I had been playing my Gameboy Advanced SP, just hours before I was injured. Gaming has been a favorite pastime practically my entire life. Despite my disability, I continue to enjoy gaming, by playing games with a mouth-stick.
Last year, I read about an amazing paralyzed professional gamer, named Randy that plays with his chin and mouth. Like me, Randy has been a gamer almost his entire life. Unlike me, Randy was born with his disability, and has only ever played by chin & mouth. Being a fellow gamer, and having had the experience of gaming with two hands, versus playing by mouth, I'm completely blown away by Randy's level of skill and the complexity of the controllers he uses. I consider myself to be a pretty good gamer, but certainly not good enough to go toe to toe, or in mine & Randy's case, mouth to hand, versus professional gamers. I'm in total awe of his amazing skill! "I'm not worthy" *bows head* LOL!
Personally, not being able to use my hands limits me to certain type of games. Given the fact that I can't hit multiple buttons at once (using a mouth-stick), I can no longer play most console games. The modern controllers have way too buttons and the games rely on complicated combinations. The way Randy plays is a bit too much work for me. I'm satisfied with the balance and selection of games I've found. The mouth-stick I use to type and use the computer is about twelve inches in length, with a plastic mouth piece and rubber tip (like a pencil eraser). Most of the PC games I play rely solely on the mouse (I use a trackball style mouse. The rubber tip of my stick makes rolling the ball easy). I use built in short cuts, like "sticky keys" and "click lock" in the control panel settings, to allow me to be able to drop, drag and highlight.
I started using a mouth-stick to play video games during my stay in a nursing home (2005-2007). A buddy of mine turned me on to a MMORPG (Massivly Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game- other examples include: World of Warcraft, EverQuest & Guild Wars) called Maple Story. For those of you not familiar with MMORPGs, they are games in which you create a character/avatar, usually a specific class within the game, in which you play with other people, in real time. They are like virtual worlds, where you can explore, form guilds, complete quests, chat, and play with friends, or people you meet within the game. They usually have loose story lines, that allow you to have freedom to play the game how you want. In fact, quite often people end up meeting up in the game just to chat & socialize with fellow players. I've met a lot of nice people, over the years playing Maple Story and even met a few of them in person (My friend Naama-aka Jane-stayed with me and went to one of my exhibits, back in 2009, traveling all the way from Israel).
As cheesy as it might sound, playing Maple Story contributed greatly to me being able to survive my stay in the nursing home, and keep my sanity. For starters, the style of the game is a classic side scroller, that uses the keyboard for controls. Allowing for customization of commands, let me arrange my keyboard so that I can hit the "jump" & arrow keys at the same time. The graphics are very animesc (I just invented that word) and reminiscent of many of my favorite Nintendo games. The whole look and feel of Maple Story fit right in with my tastes and playing gave me a much needed escape from the harsh realities of my life. Being able to socialize, and vent to real people, also helped to keep me distracted and helped keep me from becoming totally withdrawn and depressed. In the Maple Story universe, I don't look any different, from anyone else. When I meet people in the game, they have no clue that I'm playing by mouth, unless I tell them. As insignificant as that might seem, the fact that I could blend in and feel "normal" again, helped give me a confidence boost to be more social, and interact with people. Having been able bodied for the first twenty four years of my life, my disability brings with it a huge amount of body image issues, and I struggle a lot with how different I look in appearance, since my accident. To have the luxury of not standing out, actually made it easier to break the ice and talk about my injury, and my disability (in the article about Randy, it mentions him having similar feelings and about the sense of freedom that he feels, while gaming). It makes me feel good to be able to keep up and compete with my able bodied peers, within the game. Everyone I meet is always stunned and surprised when I tell them I'm paralyzed. It's hard for the average person to imagine how it is that I can type so fast, and how well I play the game. I usually jokingly say, "you should've seen me when I could use my hands!" I can only imagine how amazing a gifted player like Randy would be, if it were not for his disability.
Like I said earlier, for the most part, on the PC I stick to games that only require a mouse to play. There are tons of games that fall into this category, including many of the popular social networking connected games, likeFarmville, Bejeweled and SPP Super Poke Pets. My favorite genres include, hidden object (like Huntsville Mysteries), match three (like Jewel Quest), and simulation (like The Sims). Many of the games I play are for free, with optional features for purchase. Another great invention (besides the trackball mouse- which stays stationary, and requires you to move just the ball, instead of the entire mouse) that has widened the selection of games I can play, has been the touch screen. There are two types of touch screens, pressure and capacitive. I have games for both. The Nintendo DS uses a pressure based touchscreen, on which I use a knitting needle, attached to the end of a traditional mouth-stick. The hand held system comes with a small plastic stylus, however it's way too short & thin for me to use. The knitting needle tip, mimics the stylus tip and gives me the same amount of accuracy. I have over thirty games for my DS, that for the most part, rely totally on the stylus and don't require pushing any buttons (some have annoying microphone or button requirements, that I basically ignore, or get help with, if I can't, but that don't hinder overall game play).
The iPad uses a capacitive touchscreen, which uses the electricity in our bodies (literal touch) to work. Given the fact that my hands no longer work, I use a special stylus (called a Pogo) attached to the end of a mouth stick, which mimics touch. The capacitive fibers wear down over time, and need to be replaced, depending on how much you use them. There are tons of games available for purchase (many have "lite" version for free, to test games out) in the Apple apps store. As an artist, I also use my iPad to create digital art, in addition to using it for writing, reading and gaming. My iPad is almost as versatile as my PC, and I love the fact that I can sketch and create art on it. As far as the games go, the graphics and sound on the iPad are superior to that of the DS, and uses a much larger touch screen surface.
Below I've listed some of my favorite game titles/gaming websites, for each platform:
PC-
1. Maple Story MMORPG- http://maplestory.nexon.net/
2. Farmville- http://www.farmville.com/
3. SPP SuperPoke Pets! https://secure.superpokepets.com/spp/login
4. Big Fish Games- You can download & pay per game, or pay a subscription for full games. I enjoy playing "match 3" games & "hidden object" games. I enjoy: Huntsville Mysteries, Bookworm, Asami's Sushi Shop, Fishdom, Puzzle Quest 2 & 7 Wonders. All the titles I listed are mouse driven. http://www.bigfishgames.com
5. The Sims Series- http://thesims.ea.com/
6. Spore- http://www.spore.com
Nintendo DS-
1. Animal Crossing: Wild World- http://ds.ign.com/articles/673/673671p1.html
2. Mario vs. Donkey Kong series- http://ds.ign.com/articles/113/1134070p1.html, http://ds.ign.com/articles/735/735297p1.html
3. Final Fantasy IV- http://ds.ign.com/articles/887/887583p1.html
4. Final Fantasy: The 4 Heroes of Light- http://ds.ign.com/articles/112/1125729p1.html
5. The Cooking with Mama series- http://ds.ign.com/articles/733/733555p1.html, http://ds.ign.com/articles/837/837283p1.html, http://ds.ign.com/articles/103/1038659p1.html
6. Disney Princess: Magical Jewels- http://ds.ign.com/articles/831/831424p1.html
7. The Professor Layton Mystery series- http://ds.ign.com/articles/851/851856p1.html, http://ds.ign.com/articles/101/1017161p1.html, http://ds.ign.com/articles/111/1119632p1.html
8. Chrono Trigger- http://ds.ign.com/articles/932/932438p1.html
9. Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon- http://ds.ign.com/articles/954/954421p1.html
10. Wario's Warehouse series- http://ds.ign.com/articles/587/587217p1.html, http://ds.ign.com/articles/107/1079712p1.html
11. Brain Age series- http://ds.ign.com/articles/702/702057p1.html, http://ds.ign.com/articles/813/813780p1.html
12. Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Sky- http://ds.ign.com/articles/110/1104879p1.html
13. The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hour Glass (was very disappointed that Zelda: Spirit Tracks uses a button/stylus combo)- http://ds.ign.com/articles/822/822825p1.html
14. Pokemon Diamond (have to use buttons, but it is a turned based RPG, which makes that doable)- http://ds.ign.com/articles/782/782443p1.html
15. Yoshi Touch & Go- http://ds.ign.com/articles/595/595523p1.html
16. Age of Empires Mythologies- http://ds.ign.com/articles/933/933525p1.html
17. Harvest Moon DS Cute- http://ds.ign.com/articles/864/864320p1.html
18. Ninjatown- http://ds.ign.com/articles/924/924068p1.html
19. Gardening Mama- http://ds.ign.com/articles/969/969213p1.html
iPad-
1. Final Fantasy- http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/final-fantasy/id354972939?mt=8
2. Crystal Defenders- http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/crystal-defenders-for-ipad/id379052382?mt=8
3. Chaos Rings- http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/chaos-rings-for-ipad/id384090103?mt=8
4. Puzzle Quest- http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/puzzle-quest-hd/id398190768?mt=8
5. Color Cross HD- http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/color-cross-hd/id383300986?mt=8
6. Jewel Quest Mysteries: Curse of the Emerald Tear- http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/jewel-quest-mysteries-curse/id337188077?mt=8
7. Chop Chop Ninja- http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/chop-chop-ninja/id346877580?mt=8
8. Angry Birds series- http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/angry-birds/id343200656?mt=8
9. Smiles HD- http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/smiles-hd/id364871736?mt=8
Related Info:
1. Article about Randy- http://www.asylum.com/2010/04/13/amazing-pro-gamer-nom4d-plays-with-just-his-lips-and-chin/
2. Randy's YouTube channel- http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRealN0M4D
3. Video demo of me using my iPad (with Pogo stylus)- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H85Lb8Pyu9U&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts
Friday, March 18, 2011
Monday, October 11, 2010
Gadgets, Gizmos & Technology
I recently read (and posted) an article about Berkley Bionics new "eLEGS" exoskeleton, for paraplegics. I'd heard of, and seen similar prototypes on television shows ( mostly on the Science channel), discussing futuristic military equipment and upcoming medical technology, in addition to this particular article. Being an avid anime fan and science fiction geek, means I'm no stranger to the concept of bio-tech gadgets, likemecha suits, holobands, exoskeletons, android, robotic and avatar like devices. Science fiction is becoming fact, for many of these types of devices. We've begun mixing man with machine, in order to enhance our abilities, entertain and excite our senses, as well as return function, to those who have lost abilities, due to injury, or disease. While I view these technologies as helpful, and interesting, I tend to get frustrated and resentful at the thought of having to rely on machinery, instead of my own physiology. It's one thing to use gadgets for enhancement, or excitement, like video games, simulators, sensory stimulation (like HD tv, surround sound & 3D movies), or even rides. It's entirely different to be dependent on machinery, to move, feel, or function. While I'll admit, it's a first step (no pun intended) towards regaining function, I see gadgets as temporary compromises, and have a limited amount of enthusiasm towards them. Machines are just one more compromise, in a life already saturated with compromises, modifications, adjustments and having to settle, with what I have.
If you're not into gadgets, and technology, you'd probably be amazed to know some of the current technologies that we already process, and/or that are being developed in the here and now. I've seen pacemaker like devices, to assist in breathing (Christopher Reeve used this technology). There are devices that allow people to remotely control their limbs, bowel, bladder, and sexual function. I've also seen devices that actually "plug-in" to a persons brain, to allow them to operate a computer. There are devices that use eye movements to control computers, or machines. There's also a company out there that has developed a gaming system that is controlled by headgear, which recognizes various electrical impulses sent out from the brain. I even saw a prototype for a body suit that can receive sensory stimulation, meant to be worn and connected to the computer, which partners could use to send sensory signals to one another (essentially taking virtual intimacy to whole new level). I find technology, machines and computers fascinating, and enjoy reading and watching about them. However, for as much as I'm intrigued by mechanical engineering and technology, I'm equally frustrated by it. I feel as though machines both liberate and limit us, and get frustrated by the amount of time, energy, money, and brain power that our society invests in them. In the end, what good are machines, if there is no one is able to use them. Why focus on machinery, instead of our own bodies? Shouldn't we discover how we work first? Shouldn't we unravel all the mysteries of ourselves first? I think more emphasis needs to be put on humanity and health. Let's understand how to work with the biology we were born with, and how to fix it, instead of settling for compromises, or worrying about enhancements.
It boggles my mind how much money and time is spent on trying to find answers to questions of curiosity or weapons of destruction. Most space exploration is a huge waste of resources, in terms of practical, tangible knowledge, yet we spend BILLIONS each year on it. Although it's tantalizing to think of discovering other Earth like planets (none of which we have -even remotely close- the technology to actual reach in a single lifetime), or microorganisms deep inside the water, that may, or may not be beneath Jupiter's moon's surface, none of it is practical information. What benefits can humanity hope to gain through this type of research? How can we apply the information we learn from the billions being spent on projects like exploring Europa (Jupiter's moon)? The answer is, we can't. The type of life we hope to find in space is either too far away to reach, or so insignificantly small, that it has nothing to offer us, other than quenching our thirst for knowledge. Sure, there's a ton of interesting mysteries in our universe that are worth answering, but to what extent? Doesn't it seem logical to prioritize our time and energy, and first unravel the mysteries of our own bodies, ourselves? Why is it acceptable that we can't fix the spinal cord, but we can justify diverting resources to building weapons, exploring deep space, or building better gadgets? Shouldn't we ask ourselves how the things we do impact life; how they can improve the quality of life? I don't think it's just, that in the year 2010 people are still suffering with ailments like paralysis and cancer, which have plagued humanity for centuries (probably forever, but we didn't have the technology to detect or manage them). It's alarming to me, that geniuses, like Steven Hawking (especially ironic, in his case, in particular) prefer to use their incredible minds to answer fascinating, yet often low priority riddles, in terms of the concrete impact the information they gather has on everyday life. Don't get me wrong, I know quantum physics and associations like CERN, and NASA do offer us with some practical applications, like satellites, GPS, nuclear fusion, etc.. Unfortunately, a large bulk of effort is spent on impractical priorities, like searching for extraterrestrial life, "God particles," and explanations on dark matter. That's all well and good, but can't we worry about that stuff AFTER we figure out ourselves?
Another reason why I'm not personally jumping for joy (figuratively, of course) about this new technology, is that the Berkley Bionics exoskeleton is designed for paraplegics. You need to have a functioning upper body in order to operate it, which I don't. It's touted as being relatively lightweight in design (compared to similar prototypes), although it includes a leg/foot cast apparatus, two arms poles and a backpack (which I'm assuming is the battery). It looks bulky and cumbersome to me, however let's face it, a wheelchair is no better. The device requires the user to be able to transfer his/her lower extremities into the device, fasten all the straps, put on the backpack, and grab onto the arm poles, all before even being able to stand up. Even so, if I had a functioning upper body, I'd gladly trade in my set of wheels for a suit, regardless. The health benefits of wearing the exoskeleton far outweigh any hassles, that will surely come along with using it. Being able to bear weight on your bones is crucial. After five years of sitting, I'm sure my bones are equivalent to those of a ninety year old woman. Being able to walk , upright also has countless other medical benefits for circulation, and digestion. Despite the bulkiness and awkwardness of having to strap on so much paraphernalia, I'm sure users will have more confidence and self worth, as compared to rolling around it a chair. The one woman quoted in the article, mentions that fact. I own a tilt table, which allows me to bear weight on my bones, but it's no where near as helpful as actual locomotion. Not to mention, in a tilt table, or standing frame, you're strapped in and stationary, so you can't really interact with the environment in any productive sense. Since I have no functional upper body control, my trunk is to weak to remain upright, so it must be strapped down, to avoid me from falling forward. Plus, I have no functional arm/hand control, which makes interacting with my environment a mute point. For paraplegics however, this type of technology is very exciting. It would give people with lower extremity paralysis back much more independence, and dignity. If you watch the video demonstrations of her using the exoskeleton, you see her being able to stand eye level with her best friend, and be able to embrace her, standing up. The medical and therapeutic possibilities are amazing, but things like being able to stand next to a loved one, and hug them are priceless.
Like I said earlier, it's a stepping stone, to giving people back their independence and self confidence.Gadgets are ok, but they'll never be as good as the body I was born with. All the machines in the world can not replace all that paralysis takes away. Having to rely on a machine, is not that much better than having to rely on another person. Dependence, is dependence, no matter how you slice it. Reliance on machinery is a step up from relying on people, because it gives us the illusion of more control, and gives us a boost of confidence, in having the dignity of privacy to handle matters ourselves. However, machines have their own limitations and obstacles. The fact that the exoskeleton will rely on electricity is a key example of limitations. Yes, the user will have more control over assuring that they charge the battery, or have backups. You can control maintenance on a machine, and have reliable back up plans, more so than the unpredictability or control over a human aide. However, machines will only ever be a compromised version of our "God given" abilities. Another example of this is the fact that users of the exoskeletons will be able to walk, but will not be able to feel. The exoskeleton will give paraplegics back locomotion, but not sensation. The exoskeleton will not solve the second biggest (or first most, depending on your point of view) problem of paralysis, which is the lack of feeling. Users will be able to take a step, but unable to feel their feet touching the ground. The exoskeleton solves the problem of getting around, but doesn't even begin to address other aspects of paralysis: incontinence, sexual function, pain and/or numbness. The exoskeleton has a much greater potential to help newly injured people, retain abilities, while the body still possess muscle memory, but will not be able to address those concerns, in people that have been paralyzed for years. That is why, the best "cure" or solution, is always going to be, first and foremost, the reparation of the spinal cord itself. There is just no equal substitute to the biological wiring within our own bodies. That is where the great majority of the research, time and energy needs to be. It'll be nice for some people to get around, in the interim, but please, just give me back my body. I'm happy for those people that will benefit from this technology, and agree that every little bit helps. I'll use whatever I can, to improve my independence, but all I want is my own body. It's not enough to just go through the motions. I don't just want to move; I want to FEEL. I want to be able to truly experience every aspect of walking again. That's part of what's so hard about a spinal cord injury; it's that I KNOW what it's like to run, dance, walk, swim, and ride a bike. I remember what I'm missing, and I want it ALL back. I want to be truly independent, and not have to worry about having to buy replacement parts, rely of batteries, on mechanics to live my life. I want people to see the whole picture, and think about what counts most. Let's focus on the core problem and refocus priorities to the most basic of human necessities, health and independence. Granted, figuring out how to control and repair the central nervous system is highly more complex, than building machines, I get that. However, shouldn't that be all the more reason, for pushing for MORE support, and extra emphasis, on solving the REAL problem?
Related links:
1. Exoskeleton- http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2010/10/berkeley-bionics-elegs/
2. Exoskeleton- http://www.disabledandproductive.com/blog-posts/rewalk-system-helps-paraplegics-walk-again/
3. Brain Connection- http://www.sciencecodex.com/the_brain_speaks
4.Incontinence- http://www.gizmag.com/go/7276/
5.Breathing Pacemaker- http://www.averylabs.com/breathing-pacemakers/introduction.html
6. Mind Control- http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/13.03/brain.html
7. Cyber Sex- http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,36076,00.asp
8. Futuristic Gaming- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7254078.stm
If you're not into gadgets, and technology, you'd probably be amazed to know some of the current technologies that we already process, and/or that are being developed in the here and now. I've seen pacemaker like devices, to assist in breathing (Christopher Reeve used this technology). There are devices that allow people to remotely control their limbs, bowel, bladder, and sexual function. I've also seen devices that actually "plug-in" to a persons brain, to allow them to operate a computer. There are devices that use eye movements to control computers, or machines. There's also a company out there that has developed a gaming system that is controlled by headgear, which recognizes various electrical impulses sent out from the brain. I even saw a prototype for a body suit that can receive sensory stimulation, meant to be worn and connected to the computer, which partners could use to send sensory signals to one another (essentially taking virtual intimacy to whole new level). I find technology, machines and computers fascinating, and enjoy reading and watching about them. However, for as much as I'm intrigued by mechanical engineering and technology, I'm equally frustrated by it. I feel as though machines both liberate and limit us, and get frustrated by the amount of time, energy, money, and brain power that our society invests in them. In the end, what good are machines, if there is no one is able to use them. Why focus on machinery, instead of our own bodies? Shouldn't we discover how we work first? Shouldn't we unravel all the mysteries of ourselves first? I think more emphasis needs to be put on humanity and health. Let's understand how to work with the biology we were born with, and how to fix it, instead of settling for compromises, or worrying about enhancements.
It boggles my mind how much money and time is spent on trying to find answers to questions of curiosity or weapons of destruction. Most space exploration is a huge waste of resources, in terms of practical, tangible knowledge, yet we spend BILLIONS each year on it. Although it's tantalizing to think of discovering other Earth like planets (none of which we have -even remotely close- the technology to actual reach in a single lifetime), or microorganisms deep inside the water, that may, or may not be beneath Jupiter's moon's surface, none of it is practical information. What benefits can humanity hope to gain through this type of research? How can we apply the information we learn from the billions being spent on projects like exploring Europa (Jupiter's moon)? The answer is, we can't. The type of life we hope to find in space is either too far away to reach, or so insignificantly small, that it has nothing to offer us, other than quenching our thirst for knowledge. Sure, there's a ton of interesting mysteries in our universe that are worth answering, but to what extent? Doesn't it seem logical to prioritize our time and energy, and first unravel the mysteries of our own bodies, ourselves? Why is it acceptable that we can't fix the spinal cord, but we can justify diverting resources to building weapons, exploring deep space, or building better gadgets? Shouldn't we ask ourselves how the things we do impact life; how they can improve the quality of life? I don't think it's just, that in the year 2010 people are still suffering with ailments like paralysis and cancer, which have plagued humanity for centuries (probably forever, but we didn't have the technology to detect or manage them). It's alarming to me, that geniuses, like Steven Hawking (especially ironic, in his case, in particular) prefer to use their incredible minds to answer fascinating, yet often low priority riddles, in terms of the concrete impact the information they gather has on everyday life. Don't get me wrong, I know quantum physics and associations like CERN, and NASA do offer us with some practical applications, like satellites, GPS, nuclear fusion, etc.. Unfortunately, a large bulk of effort is spent on impractical priorities, like searching for extraterrestrial life, "God particles," and explanations on dark matter. That's all well and good, but can't we worry about that stuff AFTER we figure out ourselves?
Another reason why I'm not personally jumping for joy (figuratively, of course) about this new technology, is that the Berkley Bionics exoskeleton is designed for paraplegics. You need to have a functioning upper body in order to operate it, which I don't. It's touted as being relatively lightweight in design (compared to similar prototypes), although it includes a leg/foot cast apparatus, two arms poles and a backpack (which I'm assuming is the battery). It looks bulky and cumbersome to me, however let's face it, a wheelchair is no better. The device requires the user to be able to transfer his/her lower extremities into the device, fasten all the straps, put on the backpack, and grab onto the arm poles, all before even being able to stand up. Even so, if I had a functioning upper body, I'd gladly trade in my set of wheels for a suit, regardless. The health benefits of wearing the exoskeleton far outweigh any hassles, that will surely come along with using it. Being able to bear weight on your bones is crucial. After five years of sitting, I'm sure my bones are equivalent to those of a ninety year old woman. Being able to walk , upright also has countless other medical benefits for circulation, and digestion. Despite the bulkiness and awkwardness of having to strap on so much paraphernalia, I'm sure users will have more confidence and self worth, as compared to rolling around it a chair. The one woman quoted in the article, mentions that fact. I own a tilt table, which allows me to bear weight on my bones, but it's no where near as helpful as actual locomotion. Not to mention, in a tilt table, or standing frame, you're strapped in and stationary, so you can't really interact with the environment in any productive sense. Since I have no functional upper body control, my trunk is to weak to remain upright, so it must be strapped down, to avoid me from falling forward. Plus, I have no functional arm/hand control, which makes interacting with my environment a mute point. For paraplegics however, this type of technology is very exciting. It would give people with lower extremity paralysis back much more independence, and dignity. If you watch the video demonstrations of her using the exoskeleton, you see her being able to stand eye level with her best friend, and be able to embrace her, standing up. The medical and therapeutic possibilities are amazing, but things like being able to stand next to a loved one, and hug them are priceless.
Like I said earlier, it's a stepping stone, to giving people back their independence and self confidence.Gadgets are ok, but they'll never be as good as the body I was born with. All the machines in the world can not replace all that paralysis takes away. Having to rely on a machine, is not that much better than having to rely on another person. Dependence, is dependence, no matter how you slice it. Reliance on machinery is a step up from relying on people, because it gives us the illusion of more control, and gives us a boost of confidence, in having the dignity of privacy to handle matters ourselves. However, machines have their own limitations and obstacles. The fact that the exoskeleton will rely on electricity is a key example of limitations. Yes, the user will have more control over assuring that they charge the battery, or have backups. You can control maintenance on a machine, and have reliable back up plans, more so than the unpredictability or control over a human aide. However, machines will only ever be a compromised version of our "God given" abilities. Another example of this is the fact that users of the exoskeletons will be able to walk, but will not be able to feel. The exoskeleton will give paraplegics back locomotion, but not sensation. The exoskeleton will not solve the second biggest (or first most, depending on your point of view) problem of paralysis, which is the lack of feeling. Users will be able to take a step, but unable to feel their feet touching the ground. The exoskeleton solves the problem of getting around, but doesn't even begin to address other aspects of paralysis: incontinence, sexual function, pain and/or numbness. The exoskeleton has a much greater potential to help newly injured people, retain abilities, while the body still possess muscle memory, but will not be able to address those concerns, in people that have been paralyzed for years. That is why, the best "cure" or solution, is always going to be, first and foremost, the reparation of the spinal cord itself. There is just no equal substitute to the biological wiring within our own bodies. That is where the great majority of the research, time and energy needs to be. It'll be nice for some people to get around, in the interim, but please, just give me back my body. I'm happy for those people that will benefit from this technology, and agree that every little bit helps. I'll use whatever I can, to improve my independence, but all I want is my own body. It's not enough to just go through the motions. I don't just want to move; I want to FEEL. I want to be able to truly experience every aspect of walking again. That's part of what's so hard about a spinal cord injury; it's that I KNOW what it's like to run, dance, walk, swim, and ride a bike. I remember what I'm missing, and I want it ALL back. I want to be truly independent, and not have to worry about having to buy replacement parts, rely of batteries, on mechanics to live my life. I want people to see the whole picture, and think about what counts most. Let's focus on the core problem and refocus priorities to the most basic of human necessities, health and independence. Granted, figuring out how to control and repair the central nervous system is highly more complex, than building machines, I get that. However, shouldn't that be all the more reason, for pushing for MORE support, and extra emphasis, on solving the REAL problem?
Related links:
1. Exoskeleton- http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2010/10/berkeley-bionics-elegs/
2. Exoskeleton- http://www.disabledandproductive.com/blog-posts/rewalk-system-helps-paraplegics-walk-again/
3. Brain Connection- http://www.sciencecodex.com/the_brain_speaks
4.Incontinence- http://www.gizmag.com/go/7276/
5.Breathing Pacemaker- http://www.averylabs.com/breathing-pacemakers/introduction.html
6. Mind Control- http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/13.03/brain.html
7. Cyber Sex- http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,36076,00.asp
8. Futuristic Gaming- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7254078.stm
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Virtual Art
I've always been on the fence in terms of how I feel towards virtual art. On one hand, I don't see it as "Fine Art," and tend to place a higher value on traditional materials: paint, chalk, ink, clay, plaster, pastels, canvas, etc. I think this is because I recognize the skill, work & cost that's involved in traditional art work, and am more familiar working with traditional supplies.. On the other hand, I can't deny that training and skill are just as important in the digital arena. Besides, let's face it, when it comes to discussing art, creativity trumps it all. Creativity aside, the cost of materials, time and labor do factor in, in terms of value. With virtual art, the artist has to invest in the equipment and software necessary to produce work, however those materials do not deplete with use and results can be infinitely copied. With traditional materials, every work of art is guaranteed to be unique.
There's something to be said for the interaction between an artist and his/her tools of trade. It is a totally different experience when you physically interact with tangible materials, versus simulated versions. The results may be similar, but the artist is missing out on the kinesthetic experience, when he/she creates their artwork through virtual means. As an artist, I love the different smells, textures and feel of working with different materials. Each material has a unique feel to it and reacts differently depending on what you mix it with and what techniques you use.
Being a disabled artist, there are so many things that I miss out on, due to my paralysis. The freedom to use a variety of materials is one of the many things I can no longer do. Although I still paint, there are tons of other materials and tools that are not suited well to be used with my mouth. Plus, the sensations of feeling things with your hands is totally different from the sensations you might feel using your foot or mouth. Even switching from one hand to another can be a new experience. If you've ever tried working with your weaker hand, I'm sure you can relate.
I miss being able to feel the tension of the scissors as they press down on the paper, and the sound the paper makes, as you slice through it. I miss the smoothness of gliding markers across paper and the smells of the ink. I miss being able to fold, crinkle, pinch, pull, glue, cut, tear and tape paper. I was never really good with clay, but miss experimenting with it. Clay can be cold and wet or oily and slimy. You can squish clay through your fingers and mold it with your hands. Building a sculpture might mean chipping away at a stone, welding metal together or sawing pieces of wood. Two materials I don't miss are chalk and charcoal. I hate the feeling of chalk: the dustiness of it, the scratchy sound it makes on paper and the dryness in creates in my hands. Some people love using chalk and charcoal, because it's great for drawing and easy to create values, by rubbing or smearing it. All of the common materials for two dimensional artwork can be simulated with computer software. Many art programs can mimic how materials blend and overlap as well. However, with digital art, you lose out on tactile texture. You can print out a picture that looks rough in texture, but it will only have the smooth surface of the paper.
Most traditional art supplies are messy. Materials like chalk, pastels and crayons are meant to be held, and often times have no covering and you must touch them directly with your skin. Such materials are not suited well for using your mouth. There are many supplies that I'd need to greatly modify or cover to use them. Although I could add coverings to make certain materials safe to put in my mouth, it often makes the materials cumbersome and awkward to grip. Wet materials like paint and ink work best for mouth art, because they are designed to be applied with instruments (brushes and pens) and provide the artist with a much safer distance to the material and work surface. The other challenge to mouth art, is that it is not easy to work in color (other than paint) or erase. Constantly having to switch out markers or color pencils is annoying and the inability to flip the pencil over, or needing a separate eraser is frustrating. There are many materials I avoid, because it is not worth the aggravation. For me, the paintbrush is the easiest to control, correct and use color. Using my mouth is also very different from using my hands and while I'm grateful to be able to at least paint, it's an entirely new experience.
I'll admit, virtual art also takes skill and talent. With most professional grade art software, you still need to start out with good drawing skills and knowledge of color. There's tons of high tech software that requires training. Most computer artists and animators have to know how to translate 3D objects onto a flat surface, mimic lighting effects and textures. Artists that make computer animation need strong understanding of traditional drawing skills (pencil and paper), before they pick up a mouse and a keyboard. I realize that most professional digital artists have fine art backgrounds as part of their training. The thing that irks me about digital art, is that there are a lot of cheaper programs out there that let the average person cut, paste and tweak photos or prefab images and then call it art. It's similar to professional photographers using an SLR 35mm manual camera, versus Joe Shmoe with his point and click, fully automatic, digital camera. It just gets on my nerves when untrained people make cookie cutter art and pass it off as original, fine art. It's totally different if you create original digital art, using your own ideas and skills. Unfortunately, the average person doesn't always know what they're looking at or the work (or lack thereof) involved in creating a work of art. That is why I sometimes get annoyed when I see "art" made from prefab clip art or someone just fooling around with filter effects on Photoshop. I feel that some computer programs make it too easy to create "digital art", which detracts from the validity and skill involved in making true, high quality art (digital or traditional).
Despite my misgivings with digital art, I've embraced the future and have begun experimenting with different possibilities. Sharing information on the materials and process I use, with the viewer, is an important part of adding value and validity to my art. I figure, if viewers are informed about the different types of software out there, they can better assess the work for themselves. It's important to me that people know what goes into making each piece and the ideas behind it. As long as I stick to that plan, I feel confident about showing my digital art, alongside my traditional paintings.
Technology has given me back the ability to easily sketch and draw with color. Although I was already familiar with Photoshop and Paint, using the mouse makes it very difficult for me to maintain control or accuracy. The program that works best for me is Sketchbook Pro, which is on my iPad. The iPad is wonderful, because it uses touch and I can draw directly on the screen, as if I were using a paintbrush, or pen. I can easily swap colors, textures (mimicking different materials), erase and store my work. I was pleasantly surprised (and shocked) at how precise you can be on it, using a stylus and at how well it simulates various materials. The other great thing about the iPad is that it's compact and light. There's no mess involved either, so I'm free to draw almost anywhere, including in bed. It has been wonderful being able to draw and sketch again.
So far I've posted a handful of drawings on my Flickr site. I also signed up for "Project Sketchbook", which is through the Arthouse Co-op. I'll be using my iPad to create all the sketches I plan to use in my book. Once the sketchbook is full, it'll get mailed back to the Co-op in Brooklyn. The sketches will ultimately go on tour across the country to several exhibits and finally stored in the Brooklyn Art Library, where people can access the drawings in person or online. I'll be able to keep track of where my book is and who's seen it. It's a great chance to raise awareness for spinal cord injuries and so far it's been fun working on it.
One other digital art venture I recently took part in was an online contest for a game I play, called "Super Poke Pets!" or "SPP" for short. The game is by Slide and available to play on social networking sites, like Facebook and Myspace. In the game you adopt a virtual pet and earn points and virtual coins, by caring for it and by having play dates with your friend's virtual pets. The coins you earn are used to buy items to decorate your pet's habitat. Players can place as many items in their habitats as they like, in an infinite amount of ways. There are millions of people that currently play and they have a rather active online forum, where players can share ideas, trade items and show off their habitats. I fell in love with game for it's cute style and open ended possibilities for creativeness. I enjoy going on the forums and seeing how other people decorate their habitats. The staff chooses a handful of the best habitat entries each week and winners get a special collector's badge and their habitat earns a spot in the game's hall of fame. There are tons and tons of amazing habitats and really creative, innovative ways that players use the in game items to create pictures. I enter my creations from time to time as well.
Back in January, I entered a picture I made, called "Picasso Inspired Habitat," which was inspired by Picasso's painting, " Girl Before a Mirror." In the picture I recreated Picasso's original painting and then added a detail of the girl's face and her reflection on each side. It was really well received and I ended up winning the "Staff Choice Award" badge and it was added to the hall of fame. It was pretty cool getting the recognition and getting to see my habitat pop up on the hall of fame window, every once in a while. They also contacted me about sharing my story with an LA Times reporter. Apparently, they had my habitat hanging in the office and they pitched the idea to the reporter, who was covering something else for Slide. I was happy to talk with them, figuring it'd be more exposure for SCIs on the west coast. We did a phone interview, but the reporter said she couldn't promise that anything would be printed. She was just interested in the story & how I created the picture. So far no word back from them about it.
Then, about a month ago, a staff member from SPP emailed me and I thought it might be regarding the newspaper article. Instead, it was about a new series of items they planned on releasing. They sell gold items, which cost real money and one of the series they do is called the "Masterpiece" series. Each masterpiece is an SPP recreation (which replaces people with SPP pets) of a famous painting and sells for about $50. The masterpieces are rare releases and purchasers get a special badge for buying them. The new series they wrote to me about, is called "Community Classics" and each gold item is a replica of community members' habitats. They are equally as rare as masterpieces, sell for $20 and also grant buyers a badge. To my surprise, they decided to use my Picasso habitat as their first "Community Classic" item! I got a special creator badge, $25 worth of game gold and my own item. It was super exciting getting to see my picture on the Facebook announcement and in the forums. I got to write about the picture (included in the forum post) and it was great exposure for my cause. I've gotten a ton of nice comments and feedback and it's been a good opportunity to promote my website.
There's something to be said for the interaction between an artist and his/her tools of trade. It is a totally different experience when you physically interact with tangible materials, versus simulated versions. The results may be similar, but the artist is missing out on the kinesthetic experience, when he/she creates their artwork through virtual means. As an artist, I love the different smells, textures and feel of working with different materials. Each material has a unique feel to it and reacts differently depending on what you mix it with and what techniques you use.
Being a disabled artist, there are so many things that I miss out on, due to my paralysis. The freedom to use a variety of materials is one of the many things I can no longer do. Although I still paint, there are tons of other materials and tools that are not suited well to be used with my mouth. Plus, the sensations of feeling things with your hands is totally different from the sensations you might feel using your foot or mouth. Even switching from one hand to another can be a new experience. If you've ever tried working with your weaker hand, I'm sure you can relate.
I miss being able to feel the tension of the scissors as they press down on the paper, and the sound the paper makes, as you slice through it. I miss the smoothness of gliding markers across paper and the smells of the ink. I miss being able to fold, crinkle, pinch, pull, glue, cut, tear and tape paper. I was never really good with clay, but miss experimenting with it. Clay can be cold and wet or oily and slimy. You can squish clay through your fingers and mold it with your hands. Building a sculpture might mean chipping away at a stone, welding metal together or sawing pieces of wood. Two materials I don't miss are chalk and charcoal. I hate the feeling of chalk: the dustiness of it, the scratchy sound it makes on paper and the dryness in creates in my hands. Some people love using chalk and charcoal, because it's great for drawing and easy to create values, by rubbing or smearing it. All of the common materials for two dimensional artwork can be simulated with computer software. Many art programs can mimic how materials blend and overlap as well. However, with digital art, you lose out on tactile texture. You can print out a picture that looks rough in texture, but it will only have the smooth surface of the paper.
Most traditional art supplies are messy. Materials like chalk, pastels and crayons are meant to be held, and often times have no covering and you must touch them directly with your skin. Such materials are not suited well for using your mouth. There are many supplies that I'd need to greatly modify or cover to use them. Although I could add coverings to make certain materials safe to put in my mouth, it often makes the materials cumbersome and awkward to grip. Wet materials like paint and ink work best for mouth art, because they are designed to be applied with instruments (brushes and pens) and provide the artist with a much safer distance to the material and work surface. The other challenge to mouth art, is that it is not easy to work in color (other than paint) or erase. Constantly having to switch out markers or color pencils is annoying and the inability to flip the pencil over, or needing a separate eraser is frustrating. There are many materials I avoid, because it is not worth the aggravation. For me, the paintbrush is the easiest to control, correct and use color. Using my mouth is also very different from using my hands and while I'm grateful to be able to at least paint, it's an entirely new experience.
I'll admit, virtual art also takes skill and talent. With most professional grade art software, you still need to start out with good drawing skills and knowledge of color. There's tons of high tech software that requires training. Most computer artists and animators have to know how to translate 3D objects onto a flat surface, mimic lighting effects and textures. Artists that make computer animation need strong understanding of traditional drawing skills (pencil and paper), before they pick up a mouse and a keyboard. I realize that most professional digital artists have fine art backgrounds as part of their training. The thing that irks me about digital art, is that there are a lot of cheaper programs out there that let the average person cut, paste and tweak photos or prefab images and then call it art. It's similar to professional photographers using an SLR 35mm manual camera, versus Joe Shmoe with his point and click, fully automatic, digital camera. It just gets on my nerves when untrained people make cookie cutter art and pass it off as original, fine art. It's totally different if you create original digital art, using your own ideas and skills. Unfortunately, the average person doesn't always know what they're looking at or the work (or lack thereof) involved in creating a work of art. That is why I sometimes get annoyed when I see "art" made from prefab clip art or someone just fooling around with filter effects on Photoshop. I feel that some computer programs make it too easy to create "digital art", which detracts from the validity and skill involved in making true, high quality art (digital or traditional).
Despite my misgivings with digital art, I've embraced the future and have begun experimenting with different possibilities. Sharing information on the materials and process I use, with the viewer, is an important part of adding value and validity to my art. I figure, if viewers are informed about the different types of software out there, they can better assess the work for themselves. It's important to me that people know what goes into making each piece and the ideas behind it. As long as I stick to that plan, I feel confident about showing my digital art, alongside my traditional paintings.
Technology has given me back the ability to easily sketch and draw with color. Although I was already familiar with Photoshop and Paint, using the mouse makes it very difficult for me to maintain control or accuracy. The program that works best for me is Sketchbook Pro, which is on my iPad. The iPad is wonderful, because it uses touch and I can draw directly on the screen, as if I were using a paintbrush, or pen. I can easily swap colors, textures (mimicking different materials), erase and store my work. I was pleasantly surprised (and shocked) at how precise you can be on it, using a stylus and at how well it simulates various materials. The other great thing about the iPad is that it's compact and light. There's no mess involved either, so I'm free to draw almost anywhere, including in bed. It has been wonderful being able to draw and sketch again.
So far I've posted a handful of drawings on my Flickr site. I also signed up for "Project Sketchbook", which is through the Arthouse Co-op. I'll be using my iPad to create all the sketches I plan to use in my book. Once the sketchbook is full, it'll get mailed back to the Co-op in Brooklyn. The sketches will ultimately go on tour across the country to several exhibits and finally stored in the Brooklyn Art Library, where people can access the drawings in person or online. I'll be able to keep track of where my book is and who's seen it. It's a great chance to raise awareness for spinal cord injuries and so far it's been fun working on it.
One other digital art venture I recently took part in was an online contest for a game I play, called "Super Poke Pets!" or "SPP" for short. The game is by Slide and available to play on social networking sites, like Facebook and Myspace. In the game you adopt a virtual pet and earn points and virtual coins, by caring for it and by having play dates with your friend's virtual pets. The coins you earn are used to buy items to decorate your pet's habitat. Players can place as many items in their habitats as they like, in an infinite amount of ways. There are millions of people that currently play and they have a rather active online forum, where players can share ideas, trade items and show off their habitats. I fell in love with game for it's cute style and open ended possibilities for creativeness. I enjoy going on the forums and seeing how other people decorate their habitats. The staff chooses a handful of the best habitat entries each week and winners get a special collector's badge and their habitat earns a spot in the game's hall of fame. There are tons and tons of amazing habitats and really creative, innovative ways that players use the in game items to create pictures. I enter my creations from time to time as well.
Back in January, I entered a picture I made, called "Picasso Inspired Habitat," which was inspired by Picasso's painting, " Girl Before a Mirror." In the picture I recreated Picasso's original painting and then added a detail of the girl's face and her reflection on each side. It was really well received and I ended up winning the "Staff Choice Award" badge and it was added to the hall of fame. It was pretty cool getting the recognition and getting to see my habitat pop up on the hall of fame window, every once in a while. They also contacted me about sharing my story with an LA Times reporter. Apparently, they had my habitat hanging in the office and they pitched the idea to the reporter, who was covering something else for Slide. I was happy to talk with them, figuring it'd be more exposure for SCIs on the west coast. We did a phone interview, but the reporter said she couldn't promise that anything would be printed. She was just interested in the story & how I created the picture. So far no word back from them about it.
Then, about a month ago, a staff member from SPP emailed me and I thought it might be regarding the newspaper article. Instead, it was about a new series of items they planned on releasing. They sell gold items, which cost real money and one of the series they do is called the "Masterpiece" series. Each masterpiece is an SPP recreation (which replaces people with SPP pets) of a famous painting and sells for about $50. The masterpieces are rare releases and purchasers get a special badge for buying them. The new series they wrote to me about, is called "Community Classics" and each gold item is a replica of community members' habitats. They are equally as rare as masterpieces, sell for $20 and also grant buyers a badge. To my surprise, they decided to use my Picasso habitat as their first "Community Classic" item! I got a special creator badge, $25 worth of game gold and my own item. It was super exciting getting to see my picture on the Facebook announcement and in the forums. I got to write about the picture (included in the forum post) and it was great exposure for my cause. I've gotten a ton of nice comments and feedback and it's been a good opportunity to promote my website.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Slacker
Lately I've been feeling like a complete slacker. Mostly because I have painted in a while, and have nothing concrete planned. It's important to me to feel like I'm contributing to society, especially now, since I'm no longer teaching. I want to be working. I miss my job terribly. Sometimes I think teaching full time, on an elementary school schedule would be near impossible for me, in my condition. On the other hand, I'm confident that I could still do my job, if I had the assistance I needed. Realistically, I'm just not sure that I'd have the health or stamina to handle a forty (more like sixty) hour work week. So I've tried my best to compromise and still feel like I'm giving something. I never want to feel like I'm just leeching off the system. There are already too many people out there that choose to be selfish and lazy and abuse the system. That's not me.
The past two years I've had something to prepare for, every couple of months. Starting with the fundraiser, I sat for several newspaper interviews, did several online interviews, prepared for the three exhibits, painted for MFPA, went to an artist forum & did the two television shows. Now that it's all finished, I feel like I'm just sitting around. Part of the problem is the fact that I just don't feel well a lot of the time. My tolerance for the chair has been weakened, ever since I had that really bad bedsore on my upper thigh. After three or four hours I often feel feverish, have the chills or this weird tingly sensation I attribute to my catheter being pinched, or going to the bathroom. Either way, they are uncomfortable symptoms that often have no visible cause. I think it's just my body's way of letting me know I need to lay down. During the past six months or so, I've also been dealing with mysterious chest pains. It's not so much pain, as it is discomfort, but it is very annoying and makes it hard to relax. It started out as a tightness in between my ribcage and has since migrated to my left breast. At times, it feels like I have a huge boulder on top of the area. Other days, it feels like a giant is squeezing me with all its might. The worst is when it combines with my neck/shoulder pain. Most recently, I've been getting a throbbing pain all through my back, especially in my lower back. It's all very odd and frustrating, because I can't feel the exterior; I only feel the interior. Could I really be feeling my bones and muscles? I doubt it. Regardless, I've had all kinds of tests done in hopes of finding a cause and haven't had any luck. All my major organs are fine. My breathing is good and my blood work is fine. That leaves me with, "it could be stress or neurological pain." Great.
Long story short, is that I've been staying in bed quite a bit, these past six months or so. Mostly because I don't feel it's worth getting up, if I'm only going to feel crappy and crave being in bed the whole time. My painting has taken a back seat, as it is the one thing I can't do in bed. Even when I do get up, it's so few and far between that I usually don't feel like using the time to paint. However, then I feel guilty, like I'm being lazy. I have ideas ready; I just need to get started. It's especially hard to force myself when I know I don't have a set deadline or schedule. The shows kept me motivated. On the other hand, I start to think, if I got my butt in gear and painted more, I'd have more work to potentially exhibit. Instead, I've been trying to work on my website and I got some really nice color business cards printed up. I thought it would be more professional and an easy way to share my information. They're a custom design with one on my paintings on the front, along with my website address and a statistic about spinal cord injuries on the reverse side. Luckily, there are a million ways to promote yourself and/or a cause using the internet. I plan to continue working on computer stuff, but I really do need a push to paint!
In efforts of motivating myself, signed up to participate in something.called "the sketchbook project." It's run by a group called the "arthouse co-op, out of The Brooklyn Art Library. I just happened to click on a Facebook ad for it the other night, because it looked interesting. Basically, you sign up, they send you a sketchbook, you fill it & send it back. All of the sketchbooks then go on to exhibitions as part of a cross country tour. Each sketchbook gets abarcode, which can be used to track the book & see if people looked at it. The tour includes exhibits in a bunch of major cities: Brooklyn, NY Austin, TX San Francisco, CA Portland, MEAtlanta, GA &Chicago, IL. Once it's over, people will be able to look at them in the Brooklyn Art Library. I also paid a small extra fee, for the book to be digitized and added to an online library. It sounds like a really cool idea and I'm excited about participating. All I have to do is choose a theme, use the book & not change it's dimensions. I chose the theme "Help!" I thought it was perfect for the purpose of advocacy. I plan on making my sketchbook about paralysis and my hope for a cure. The cool thing is, I can sketch everything on my iPad and then print and transfer them to the book. So staying in bed is no excuse! It'll be interesting to document my progress and follow the book, on its travels. I'll definitely blog about it once I get started.
Speaking of blogs, I had read this article about a paralyzed pro gamer (Randy) & thought it would make for an interesting blog, if I could interview him. I took a chance & contacted him through his youtube site. He agreed & most likely I'll be talking to him soon, through Skype.It'll be cool to compare notes with Randy & hopefully make an interesting blog. I'm sure there are people out there that think they can't play video games, because of physical disabilities. I'm hoping by sharing mine and Randy's techniques and stories we can inspire some new gamers. I've always been into gaming, but it's been especially helpful in coping with my situation. Gaming provides a much needed escape and source of enjoyment.
Long story short, is that I've been staying in bed quite a bit, these past six months or so. Mostly because I don't feel it's worth getting up, if I'm only going to feel crappy and crave being in bed the whole time. My painting has taken a back seat, as it is the one thing I can't do in bed. Even when I do get up, it's so few and far between that I usually don't feel like using the time to paint. However, then I feel guilty, like I'm being lazy. I have ideas ready; I just need to get started. It's especially hard to force myself when I know I don't have a set deadline or schedule. The shows kept me motivated. On the other hand, I start to think, if I got my butt in gear and painted more, I'd have more work to potentially exhibit. Instead, I've been trying to work on my website and I got some really nice color business cards printed up. I thought it would be more professional and an easy way to share my information. They're a custom design with one on my paintings on the front, along with my website address and a statistic about spinal cord injuries on the reverse side. Luckily, there are a million ways to promote yourself and/or a cause using the internet. I plan to continue working on computer stuff, but I really do need a push to paint!
In efforts of motivating myself, signed up to participate in something.called "the sketchbook project." It's run by a group called the "arthouse co-op, out of The Brooklyn Art Library. I just happened to click on a Facebook ad for it the other night, because it looked interesting. Basically, you sign up, they send you a sketchbook, you fill it & send it back. All of the sketchbooks then go on to exhibitions as part of a cross country tour. Each sketchbook gets abarcode, which can be used to track the book & see if people looked at it. The tour includes exhibits in a bunch of major cities: Brooklyn, NY Austin, TX San Francisco, CA Portland, MEAtlanta, GA &Chicago, IL. Once it's over, people will be able to look at them in the Brooklyn Art Library. I also paid a small extra fee, for the book to be digitized and added to an online library. It sounds like a really cool idea and I'm excited about participating. All I have to do is choose a theme, use the book & not change it's dimensions. I chose the theme "Help!" I thought it was perfect for the purpose of advocacy. I plan on making my sketchbook about paralysis and my hope for a cure. The cool thing is, I can sketch everything on my iPad and then print and transfer them to the book. So staying in bed is no excuse! It'll be interesting to document my progress and follow the book, on its travels. I'll definitely blog about it once I get started.
Speaking of blogs, I had read this article about a paralyzed pro gamer (Randy) & thought it would make for an interesting blog, if I could interview him. I took a chance & contacted him through his youtube site. He agreed & most likely I'll be talking to him soon, through Skype.It'll be cool to compare notes with Randy & hopefully make an interesting blog. I'm sure there are people out there that think they can't play video games, because of physical disabilities. I'm hoping by sharing mine and Randy's techniques and stories we can inspire some new gamers. I've always been into gaming, but it's been especially helpful in coping with my situation. Gaming provides a much needed escape and source of enjoyment.
Friday, April 23, 2010
iPad Review (with people with disabilities in mind)
I've had my iPad for a week now & have to say, I'm loving it! I haven't gone nuts downloading a ton of apps, but I do have a variety that I think are worth mentioning. There are a few things I'd definitely like to see in the next generation of iPads and a few flaws, that Apple could probably address with software updates.
Overall, the functionality is pretty intuitive and I can do most things that anyone else could. There are a few multi-finger gestures that I can't do, but for the most part, I've been able to navigate quite well, using my stylus. Certain functions can be done in multiple ways, for example, you can enlarge or shrink pages by pinching and pulling at the corners or you can double tap. I have noticed that the iPad is very particular and is programed to sense tiny differences in movement, pressure and the duration of your finger or stylus is on the screen. Because it is so sensitive, it does seem to work more accurately and consistently with fingers, versus the stylus. There have been many times that I've been using it and I have to try to push the same area two or three times, before I get it just right. It can be annoying at times. I think the easiest solution would be, for Apple to design a capacitive stylus with a more precise tip. All of the capacitive styluses that I've come across (including the Pogo that I'm using) have a thick tip, about the circumference of a pencil eraser. If they could somehow narrow the tip to a point, it would make it easier to be accurate.
As far as accessibility to goes, I really think Apple should include some sort of override setting for the stylus. It would solve the problem of not being able to do multi-finger gestures and it would help the iPad to recognize the difference between stylus and fingers. I haven't tried the Voice option yet, but the ability to change font size and adjust the volume and brightness, in the settings menu is helpful. I'm very pleased that there aren't many external buttons. The only other "problem" I've come across in concerns of accessibility is that, some apps rely on movement and/or do not self adjust the orientation. In terms of being accessible, Apple should consider the fact that many people with disabilities cannot pick up, or move the iPadthemselves. I realize that there are only a small amount of iPad users with this unique problem, however, it is a concern to those of us dealing with paralysis and motor skill deficiencies. It's a minor issue that could most likely be easily resolved by giving users the option of shutting of kinetic features and/or individual apps could give users alternative means of controlling the device.
The iPad technically, has no "correct" orientation, and is supposed to adjust itself based on the movement of the iPad itself. You can choose to lock the orientation if you wish, however some apps (mostly games) rely on kinetics, such as Nintendo Wii. In the game Sims3, for example, you need to shake the iPad as part of earning cooking skills. Since I can't shake, or handle my iPad, I'm destined for virtual cooking failure. It would be simple for creators to allow tapping as an alternative; just as lazy people have the choice to play their Wii from the couch. Kinetic gaming features are cool, but I don't see any justification for them being absolutely necessary. Many of the current apps already allow for customization, so I don't see why Apple couldn't make the kinetic features optional.
A lot of the iPad apps are iPhone apps that Apple has tweaked for use with the iPad. The one glitch I've encountered in several apps, is that they are only setup to work in the "portrait" position. This means, you're forced to use the iPad vertically, and depending on how you have to position the iPadin order to use it, vertical might not be the most convenient orientation. I for one, use my iPad in the horizontal orientation, because the height is shorter than the width, thus making it easier for me to reach/touch the entire surface.The current apps that only work vertically, could easily provide updates to rectify the issue. Some of the TV sites like, ABC, TLC and Discovery Channel do not (yet) automatically self adjust, or the home page is vertical, while the videos can be watched in either portrait or landscape. I'm hoping more apps will update the iPad apps to work in both orientations. I find it ironic that there are (at times) unnecessary kinetic features embedded into games and yet, apps that should respond to movement, to auto-correct the orientation of the iPad don't always work.
My only other complaint is the inability to view or use anything to do with Flash. I think this is a big mistake, as tons of very popular websites use Flash and aren't accessible on the iPad. No Flash means only having a limited access to the web; which stinks. I'll be using my iPad primarily from home, so I rely on my existing wireless network for internet access. However, I'd be ticked off if I was one of the thousands of people that are paying extra for 3G (access on the go) service. I can't see paying full price for internet services, if you don't have full access. Some of my favorite sites rely on Flash, like HULU and Facebook games (like Zynga and Slide games). You can also forget about playing huge multi-player games, like World ofWarcraft and Maple Story. I can't even access the social section of my own website, because it uses Flash. If I really want/need to access Flash websites, I can switch off to my laptop. Apple would like you to think that the iPad is a smaller, more convenient version of a laptop PC, but that isn't true. The iPad has the potential to replace traditional laptops in the future, but currently, there are too many missing capabilities to make the switch from a PC to iPad alone. Right now, iPad's capabilities are stuck in between the versatility of a PC and the limitations of specialized mobile gadgets, like e-books. That said, the things the iPad CAN do are pretty sweet!
Two of the best features of the iPad are it's compact size (smaller than the average magazine) and its full touchscreen. The iPad is definitely easier to lug around than a laptop, and easier to read, and operate than smart phones. My dad is always complaining about the ever shrinking size of electronic gadgets; he says, "they're designed for Leprechauns." I know myself, that trying to use my cell phone or other electronic devices are difficult to use, because of my limited mobility. I no longer have the dexterity or fine motor skills required to push buttons that are a quarter inch in size. I'm sure many people with disabilities, and the elderly, find it frustrating, not being able to read or accurately press buttons. The iPad is great, because it allows for customization. You can increase the size and type of font of text and easily zoom the screen in and out, which makes for much easier reading. The lack of buttons is also a plus. The touch screen is far easier to operate than pushing keys or having to scroll and select things with a mouse. If I want to type on a PC, using Microsoft's on-screen keyboard, I have to use mouse to select and press each key. The process is so tedious that it's not worth it for me to use. My iPad's on-screen keyboard is huge and I touch each key directly, as if I were using a traditional keyboard. Being able to type laying down gives me more time in the day to write, answer emails and surf the web. Before I owned the iPad, I was limited to only typing if I was sitting and only being able to use the mouse, if I were laying down. Now, I have more options to how I spend my day, because I have extra time to write.
The other great features of the iPad are: e-reader, social networking, productivity, gaming, music, videos and creativity. Even though there are limitations to surfing the web, it's great to be able to check e-mails and keep up with social networking sites, like Twitter and Facebook. The e-reader feature is awesome, and has all the best qualities of the top three competitors. iPad gives users the freedom to download and purchase books from a variety of sources, so you can shop around for deals and freebies. The fact that it has a full color touchscreen, makes it feel more like you're reading an actual book or magazine. The advantage is, you can store thousands of books into it's small size, customize the font and look up words, with it's built in dictionary and search features. Not to mention, for someone like me, that has to turn pages with a stick and has an elaborate set-up (tables and book stands), every time I want to read, the e-books are a godsent. My iPad has taken out all the stress that comes along with reading and made me more motivated to want to read.
If you get tired of reading, there are tons of fun games, which are all operated by touch, similar to the Nintendo DS. You can also save space withiTunes, since you can store tons of your CDs and movies. It's pretty amazing how much stuff you can carry around in such a small device. There's also lots of great productivity apps, that give you the ability to work on the go, manage/organize information and jot down ideas. One of my favorite apps is Sketchbook Pro, which lets me create art. I haven't had the freedom to sketch in a long time. For me, the annoyance of having to ask for help every two seconds, (for an eraser or changing colors) takes away the enjoyment of drawing. The iPad sketch book gives me the freedom to switch colors and textures, as well as to make corrections on my own. It's amazing how well the program simulates different mediums and it gives you the ability to create work in layers. I'd say it's a must have for any artist.
I realize the iPad is a bit pricey, for the average middle class person. The good news is that it does come in several versions; the cheapest runs around $500. If you already own a smart phone, you might want to wait and see what (if any) changes they make to the next generation of iPads. The originaliPad is sure to drop in price as newer versions get released. If you don't own a laptop or a smart phone, you really should take a trip the Apple store and check out the iPad. Also, if you're thinking about investing in an e-reader, it's well worth the extra $100-200, considering everything the iPad can do. I'd highly recommend the iPad for people with disabilities, especially those people that enjoy reading and/or writing. It can take the place of bulkier, assistive devices, that aren't as versatile or easy to use. Plus, the iPad gives the user freedom to switch between tasks independently. I'm always grateful to have anything that gives me back a sense of freedom or independence.
Overall, the functionality is pretty intuitive and I can do most things that anyone else could. There are a few multi-finger gestures that I can't do, but for the most part, I've been able to navigate quite well, using my stylus. Certain functions can be done in multiple ways, for example, you can enlarge or shrink pages by pinching and pulling at the corners or you can double tap. I have noticed that the iPad is very particular and is programed to sense tiny differences in movement, pressure and the duration of your finger or stylus is on the screen. Because it is so sensitive, it does seem to work more accurately and consistently with fingers, versus the stylus. There have been many times that I've been using it and I have to try to push the same area two or three times, before I get it just right. It can be annoying at times. I think the easiest solution would be, for Apple to design a capacitive stylus with a more precise tip. All of the capacitive styluses that I've come across (including the Pogo that I'm using) have a thick tip, about the circumference of a pencil eraser. If they could somehow narrow the tip to a point, it would make it easier to be accurate.
As far as accessibility to goes, I really think Apple should include some sort of override setting for the stylus. It would solve the problem of not being able to do multi-finger gestures and it would help the iPad to recognize the difference between stylus and fingers. I haven't tried the Voice option yet, but the ability to change font size and adjust the volume and brightness, in the settings menu is helpful. I'm very pleased that there aren't many external buttons. The only other "problem" I've come across in concerns of accessibility is that, some apps rely on movement and/or do not self adjust the orientation. In terms of being accessible, Apple should consider the fact that many people with disabilities cannot pick up, or move the iPadthemselves. I realize that there are only a small amount of iPad users with this unique problem, however, it is a concern to those of us dealing with paralysis and motor skill deficiencies. It's a minor issue that could most likely be easily resolved by giving users the option of shutting of kinetic features and/or individual apps could give users alternative means of controlling the device.
The iPad technically, has no "correct" orientation, and is supposed to adjust itself based on the movement of the iPad itself. You can choose to lock the orientation if you wish, however some apps (mostly games) rely on kinetics, such as Nintendo Wii. In the game Sims3, for example, you need to shake the iPad as part of earning cooking skills. Since I can't shake, or handle my iPad, I'm destined for virtual cooking failure. It would be simple for creators to allow tapping as an alternative; just as lazy people have the choice to play their Wii from the couch. Kinetic gaming features are cool, but I don't see any justification for them being absolutely necessary. Many of the current apps already allow for customization, so I don't see why Apple couldn't make the kinetic features optional.
A lot of the iPad apps are iPhone apps that Apple has tweaked for use with the iPad. The one glitch I've encountered in several apps, is that they are only setup to work in the "portrait" position. This means, you're forced to use the iPad vertically, and depending on how you have to position the iPadin order to use it, vertical might not be the most convenient orientation. I for one, use my iPad in the horizontal orientation, because the height is shorter than the width, thus making it easier for me to reach/touch the entire surface.The current apps that only work vertically, could easily provide updates to rectify the issue. Some of the TV sites like, ABC, TLC and Discovery Channel do not (yet) automatically self adjust, or the home page is vertical, while the videos can be watched in either portrait or landscape. I'm hoping more apps will update the iPad apps to work in both orientations. I find it ironic that there are (at times) unnecessary kinetic features embedded into games and yet, apps that should respond to movement, to auto-correct the orientation of the iPad don't always work.
My only other complaint is the inability to view or use anything to do with Flash. I think this is a big mistake, as tons of very popular websites use Flash and aren't accessible on the iPad. No Flash means only having a limited access to the web; which stinks. I'll be using my iPad primarily from home, so I rely on my existing wireless network for internet access. However, I'd be ticked off if I was one of the thousands of people that are paying extra for 3G (access on the go) service. I can't see paying full price for internet services, if you don't have full access. Some of my favorite sites rely on Flash, like HULU and Facebook games (like Zynga and Slide games). You can also forget about playing huge multi-player games, like World ofWarcraft and Maple Story. I can't even access the social section of my own website, because it uses Flash. If I really want/need to access Flash websites, I can switch off to my laptop. Apple would like you to think that the iPad is a smaller, more convenient version of a laptop PC, but that isn't true. The iPad has the potential to replace traditional laptops in the future, but currently, there are too many missing capabilities to make the switch from a PC to iPad alone. Right now, iPad's capabilities are stuck in between the versatility of a PC and the limitations of specialized mobile gadgets, like e-books. That said, the things the iPad CAN do are pretty sweet!
Two of the best features of the iPad are it's compact size (smaller than the average magazine) and its full touchscreen. The iPad is definitely easier to lug around than a laptop, and easier to read, and operate than smart phones. My dad is always complaining about the ever shrinking size of electronic gadgets; he says, "they're designed for Leprechauns." I know myself, that trying to use my cell phone or other electronic devices are difficult to use, because of my limited mobility. I no longer have the dexterity or fine motor skills required to push buttons that are a quarter inch in size. I'm sure many people with disabilities, and the elderly, find it frustrating, not being able to read or accurately press buttons. The iPad is great, because it allows for customization. You can increase the size and type of font of text and easily zoom the screen in and out, which makes for much easier reading. The lack of buttons is also a plus. The touch screen is far easier to operate than pushing keys or having to scroll and select things with a mouse. If I want to type on a PC, using Microsoft's on-screen keyboard, I have to use mouse to select and press each key. The process is so tedious that it's not worth it for me to use. My iPad's on-screen keyboard is huge and I touch each key directly, as if I were using a traditional keyboard. Being able to type laying down gives me more time in the day to write, answer emails and surf the web. Before I owned the iPad, I was limited to only typing if I was sitting and only being able to use the mouse, if I were laying down. Now, I have more options to how I spend my day, because I have extra time to write.
The other great features of the iPad are: e-reader, social networking, productivity, gaming, music, videos and creativity. Even though there are limitations to surfing the web, it's great to be able to check e-mails and keep up with social networking sites, like Twitter and Facebook. The e-reader feature is awesome, and has all the best qualities of the top three competitors. iPad gives users the freedom to download and purchase books from a variety of sources, so you can shop around for deals and freebies. The fact that it has a full color touchscreen, makes it feel more like you're reading an actual book or magazine. The advantage is, you can store thousands of books into it's small size, customize the font and look up words, with it's built in dictionary and search features. Not to mention, for someone like me, that has to turn pages with a stick and has an elaborate set-up (tables and book stands), every time I want to read, the e-books are a godsent. My iPad has taken out all the stress that comes along with reading and made me more motivated to want to read.
If you get tired of reading, there are tons of fun games, which are all operated by touch, similar to the Nintendo DS. You can also save space withiTunes, since you can store tons of your CDs and movies. It's pretty amazing how much stuff you can carry around in such a small device. There's also lots of great productivity apps, that give you the ability to work on the go, manage/organize information and jot down ideas. One of my favorite apps is Sketchbook Pro, which lets me create art. I haven't had the freedom to sketch in a long time. For me, the annoyance of having to ask for help every two seconds, (for an eraser or changing colors) takes away the enjoyment of drawing. The iPad sketch book gives me the freedom to switch colors and textures, as well as to make corrections on my own. It's amazing how well the program simulates different mediums and it gives you the ability to create work in layers. I'd say it's a must have for any artist.
I realize the iPad is a bit pricey, for the average middle class person. The good news is that it does come in several versions; the cheapest runs around $500. If you already own a smart phone, you might want to wait and see what (if any) changes they make to the next generation of iPads. The originaliPad is sure to drop in price as newer versions get released. If you don't own a laptop or a smart phone, you really should take a trip the Apple store and check out the iPad. Also, if you're thinking about investing in an e-reader, it's well worth the extra $100-200, considering everything the iPad can do. I'd highly recommend the iPad for people with disabilities, especially those people that enjoy reading and/or writing. It can take the place of bulkier, assistive devices, that aren't as versatile or easy to use. Plus, the iPad gives the user freedom to switch between tasks independently. I'm always grateful to have anything that gives me back a sense of freedom or independence.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
iPad
I'm currently writing from my new iPad. I'm getting used to how to use it & how much pressure is needed to access features. Right now we have it rigged on a book stand & bed table. It's harder for me to press the top two corners than it is for the rest of the surface. I bought a generic capacitive stylus (Pogo brand), since Apple doesn't have one (yet) for the iPad. I ended up going to the Apple store to try out the stylus, before I ordered one. While doing my research on the device, I couldn't find any mention of being able to use a stylus.
Initially, I called Apple to speak with one of their "geniuses" about the probability of me being able to use the iPad with my mouth stick & possibly the iTouch stylus. The woman I spoke with said that most likely the iPhone/iTouch stylus wouldn't work because of the amount of sensors used in the iPad surface. Luckily, my brother in law is a tech wiz & encouraged me to try any old capacitive stylus. As the name suggests, capacitive styluses (do I need to pluralize that word?) some how mimic our fingers by altering the electric current on the touch screen surface. Other touch screens, like on Nintendo DS, respond to pressure, so you can use your fingers or almost any inanimate object. After reading a couple of articles my bro sent me, which even showed people using sausages to control their iPhones (I'm not kidding), I figured it was worth trying.
As some of you know, I've been looking into getting an e-reader for some time now. I'd read tons of reviews on Kindle, Sony Reader & the Nook, and was leaning towards the Kindle, when I first heard about the iPad. The more I read about the iPad, it seemed like the perfect choice. It already has all the positive features of the three e-readers (audio book capability, built in dictionary, limited web access, touch screen & the ability to share information) plus it can do a host of other things, that none of the e-readers can. Granted, the iPad is more expensive, but I think the versatility of applications justifies the added cost.
The iPad is not (yet) a replacement to a laptop, because it doesn't support Flash (program that online games, like Farmville & a lot of websites use), has limited multitasking capabilities and has no webcam. That said, the amount of things it can do is pretty impressive. I'm limited to what I can do o a laptop, because I have to use a mouth stick to hit the keys & control the trackball. The full touch screen of the iPad allows me to do a lot of things laying down, that normally require me to sit. Just being able to type laying in bed is amazing. I so often have ideas or things I'd like to say, but can't because I'm stuck in bed. I hardly ever have enough time in the day to write. I have to prioritize my time sitting up, so that I can be productive. Once I've answered all my e-mails & paid bills, there's little time (or desire) to write for fun.
Hopefully, I'll be posting blogs more frequently, now that I can write in bed. I'll write a more detailed review on my iPad, after I've used it for a few weeks.
-- Post From My iPad
Initially, I called Apple to speak with one of their "geniuses" about the probability of me being able to use the iPad with my mouth stick & possibly the iTouch stylus. The woman I spoke with said that most likely the iPhone/iTouch stylus wouldn't work because of the amount of sensors used in the iPad surface. Luckily, my brother in law is a tech wiz & encouraged me to try any old capacitive stylus. As the name suggests, capacitive styluses (do I need to pluralize that word?) some how mimic our fingers by altering the electric current on the touch screen surface. Other touch screens, like on Nintendo DS, respond to pressure, so you can use your fingers or almost any inanimate object. After reading a couple of articles my bro sent me, which even showed people using sausages to control their iPhones (I'm not kidding), I figured it was worth trying.
As some of you know, I've been looking into getting an e-reader for some time now. I'd read tons of reviews on Kindle, Sony Reader & the Nook, and was leaning towards the Kindle, when I first heard about the iPad. The more I read about the iPad, it seemed like the perfect choice. It already has all the positive features of the three e-readers (audio book capability, built in dictionary, limited web access, touch screen & the ability to share information) plus it can do a host of other things, that none of the e-readers can. Granted, the iPad is more expensive, but I think the versatility of applications justifies the added cost.
The iPad is not (yet) a replacement to a laptop, because it doesn't support Flash (program that online games, like Farmville & a lot of websites use), has limited multitasking capabilities and has no webcam. That said, the amount of things it can do is pretty impressive. I'm limited to what I can do o a laptop, because I have to use a mouth stick to hit the keys & control the trackball. The full touch screen of the iPad allows me to do a lot of things laying down, that normally require me to sit. Just being able to type laying in bed is amazing. I so often have ideas or things I'd like to say, but can't because I'm stuck in bed. I hardly ever have enough time in the day to write. I have to prioritize my time sitting up, so that I can be productive. Once I've answered all my e-mails & paid bills, there's little time (or desire) to write for fun.
Hopefully, I'll be posting blogs more frequently, now that I can write in bed. I'll write a more detailed review on my iPad, after I've used it for a few weeks.
-- Post From My iPad
Monday, December 21, 2009
Futuristic Science Fiction, Highly Avanced Mecha Exoskeletons & Wheelchairs?
I'm not sure if it irks anyone else, but I'm getting pretty annoyed with all these "futuristic"science fiction TV & movie plots that have characters still rolling around in wheelchairs.
Those of you that know me personally, know that I'm a huge geek when it comes to video games and anime. I pride myself in my anime collection, which includes DVDs from almost every genre out there. I have a really wide range in taste when it comes to movies and TV in general. I enjoy plots that can make me cry and/or laugh and I can't stand predictability. Above all, I like movies and TV shows that make sense. Let me pause here and clarify. If I'm watching a movie deemed "comedy" I expect to laugh and assume there might be over the top outrageous antics. If I'm watching a fantasy (like Harry Potter) it's ok if the characters use magic or have fantastical creatures.If I'm watching science fiction, I do want some of the plot to be based on actual science. Although "science" fiction is "fiction" it should still incorporate logic and science based on what we know. Don't get me wrong, I love fantasy and imaginative things like alien worlds, futuristic technology and space travel. Fantasy is great, but only to a point if the writer wants to convince me that the story has any substance or connection to science. If the story is seemingly all over the place and basic things don't make sense they should label it as fantasy. I'm not talking about complex principles (I'm no scientist). I don't sit in front of the TV picking apart every detail, or double checking equations and physics. I just can't stand it when something in the storyline stands out due to lack of common sense.
I own (and have watched) quite a few "mecha" genre animes and movies. The underlying plot is basically always the same; futuristic society (20xx), huge robotic exoskeletons used in combat, outer space and/or post apocalyptic Earth. The new movie Avatar fits the bill for most of the factors I just mentioned. I had heard the movie hype and seen ads on Nickelodeon for the cartoon series, but knew nothing about the storyline. It wasn't until the other day that I saw an actual trailer for movie. It seemed really cool at first, but then...BAM! The glaring paradox that's been plaguing me for some time now in other shows as well; the main character is in a wheelchair. It's like for a split second the gears in my brain screech to a halt. "Say what?!" So let me get this straight, it's an extremely advanced future Earth society that has technology like bio tech exoskeletons, can travel through galaxies (mind you that would mean we somehow figured out how to travel faster than the speed of light; something Einstein's theories can't even explain), have advanced bases/colonies outside of our planet and in many cases sophisticated androids, but somehow fixing paralysis slipped through the cracks?!
I haven't seen Avatar (I hear it's great), so I can't comment much about the storyline, except for the fact that it takes place in the 22nd century (2154 I believe)and the main character is a supposed ex-Marine who was paralyzed from the waist down in combat. I guess that means James Cameron doesn't foresee a cure to paralysis for at least a couple hundred more years. Unfortunately, he's not alone. There are a slew of anime that follow this formula too (Aquarion, Code Geass, Tekkaman Blade, Gundam Wing, Dominion Tank Police & Basquash!) and it makes me wonder why. How does no one else notice this huge contradiction? Do people really not care if a movie makes no sense or hasn't a shred of plausibility? Why is it that these writers choose to make characters in futuristic stories disabled?
I'm probably more acutely aware of this flaw because of my own disability, but the fact still remains that this phenomenon exists; even if no one else seems to notice. I can't help but think that writers choose to make these characters disabled to make them more sympathetic to the audience. Everyone loves the underdog right? The anime series Code Geass and Aqaurion even take it a step further by having blind paraplegic characters. Geez! Mind you, these characters exist in supposedly highly technologically advanced societies. Part of me can't help but be cynical and laugh.
I've put quite a bit of thought into it and maybe these writers do have some validity in creating this type of future. A future where technology in warfare and exploration has advanced past what we now deem as impossible, but medical and health issues have yet to be resolved. When I think about the billions that our government gives NASA to blow on frivolous projects, that type of future scenario does start to take root in logic. Don't get me wrong. I value technology and know that there are tons of helpful, practical applications created by NASA. I'm not knocking space exploration in general. I appreciate the value in the projects that orbit our planet (such as, satellites and telescopes), because we rely on these technologies every day and they help humanity directly. However, there are many other current initiatives the NASA has planned that make no sense to me, in terms of funding and time spent.
One example is the "Europa Jupiter System Mission," scheduled to launch somewhere between the years 2015-2025. The objective it to drill through the moon's thick icy surface with the hope of finding liquid water and in turn, possibly life (amoeba type lifeforms). How is it justifiable to sink billions & billions of dollars into searching for space microbes when we have millions of people suffering due to disease and disability this very moment? Are our priorities so out of whack that we'll be able to travel to distant planets before we figure out all there is to know here on Earth? It's a very scary thought.
I often feel like I'm one of the few people that pays attention to the world around me and considers what implications our decisions will make on the future. Our leaders (the whole system in general; mayors-president) say they have the future in mind, but seldom back their words up with action. Global warming is a prime example of our society's apathy towards the future. So many people only understand or care about their immediate comfort and I think that's really sad.
I can't speak for the writers of the stories that I mention earlier, but I am very curious as to why they envision a future swarming with technology beyond our dreams and people still in wheelchairs. I would like to think they are trying to prove some profound point, but I am banking on the theory they just see handicapped characters as more likable and sympathetic. I wonder if it ever crosses their minds how absurd (or how negative)it seems to portray humanity's future still riddled with disease and paralysis. I'm not saying our future should be envisioned as a Utopia, but you'd think we'd at least have cured cancer and AIDS and be able to repair the central nervous system after some two hundred or more years of research.
Maybe I just over analyze things too much. I'm curios to hear other people's opinions and theories.
FYI-I'm also a stickler for movies following the original plot of the book, but that's a topic for another blog!
Those of you that know me personally, know that I'm a huge geek when it comes to video games and anime. I pride myself in my anime collection, which includes DVDs from almost every genre out there. I have a really wide range in taste when it comes to movies and TV in general. I enjoy plots that can make me cry and/or laugh and I can't stand predictability. Above all, I like movies and TV shows that make sense. Let me pause here and clarify. If I'm watching a movie deemed "comedy" I expect to laugh and assume there might be over the top outrageous antics. If I'm watching a fantasy (like Harry Potter) it's ok if the characters use magic or have fantastical creatures.If I'm watching science fiction, I do want some of the plot to be based on actual science. Although "science" fiction is "fiction" it should still incorporate logic and science based on what we know. Don't get me wrong, I love fantasy and imaginative things like alien worlds, futuristic technology and space travel. Fantasy is great, but only to a point if the writer wants to convince me that the story has any substance or connection to science. If the story is seemingly all over the place and basic things don't make sense they should label it as fantasy. I'm not talking about complex principles (I'm no scientist). I don't sit in front of the TV picking apart every detail, or double checking equations and physics. I just can't stand it when something in the storyline stands out due to lack of common sense.
I own (and have watched) quite a few "mecha" genre animes and movies. The underlying plot is basically always the same; futuristic society (20xx), huge robotic exoskeletons used in combat, outer space and/or post apocalyptic Earth. The new movie Avatar fits the bill for most of the factors I just mentioned. I had heard the movie hype and seen ads on Nickelodeon for the cartoon series, but knew nothing about the storyline. It wasn't until the other day that I saw an actual trailer for movie. It seemed really cool at first, but then...BAM! The glaring paradox that's been plaguing me for some time now in other shows as well; the main character is in a wheelchair. It's like for a split second the gears in my brain screech to a halt. "Say what?!" So let me get this straight, it's an extremely advanced future Earth society that has technology like bio tech exoskeletons, can travel through galaxies (mind you that would mean we somehow figured out how to travel faster than the speed of light; something Einstein's theories can't even explain), have advanced bases/colonies outside of our planet and in many cases sophisticated androids, but somehow fixing paralysis slipped through the cracks?!
I haven't seen Avatar (I hear it's great), so I can't comment much about the storyline, except for the fact that it takes place in the 22nd century (2154 I believe)and the main character is a supposed ex-Marine who was paralyzed from the waist down in combat. I guess that means James Cameron doesn't foresee a cure to paralysis for at least a couple hundred more years. Unfortunately, he's not alone. There are a slew of anime that follow this formula too (Aquarion, Code Geass, Tekkaman Blade, Gundam Wing, Dominion Tank Police & Basquash!) and it makes me wonder why. How does no one else notice this huge contradiction? Do people really not care if a movie makes no sense or hasn't a shred of plausibility? Why is it that these writers choose to make characters in futuristic stories disabled?
I'm probably more acutely aware of this flaw because of my own disability, but the fact still remains that this phenomenon exists; even if no one else seems to notice. I can't help but think that writers choose to make these characters disabled to make them more sympathetic to the audience. Everyone loves the underdog right? The anime series Code Geass and Aqaurion even take it a step further by having blind paraplegic characters. Geez! Mind you, these characters exist in supposedly highly technologically advanced societies. Part of me can't help but be cynical and laugh.
I've put quite a bit of thought into it and maybe these writers do have some validity in creating this type of future. A future where technology in warfare and exploration has advanced past what we now deem as impossible, but medical and health issues have yet to be resolved. When I think about the billions that our government gives NASA to blow on frivolous projects, that type of future scenario does start to take root in logic. Don't get me wrong. I value technology and know that there are tons of helpful, practical applications created by NASA. I'm not knocking space exploration in general. I appreciate the value in the projects that orbit our planet (such as, satellites and telescopes), because we rely on these technologies every day and they help humanity directly. However, there are many other current initiatives the NASA has planned that make no sense to me, in terms of funding and time spent.
One example is the "Europa Jupiter System Mission," scheduled to launch somewhere between the years 2015-2025. The objective it to drill through the moon's thick icy surface with the hope of finding liquid water and in turn, possibly life (amoeba type lifeforms). How is it justifiable to sink billions & billions of dollars into searching for space microbes when we have millions of people suffering due to disease and disability this very moment? Are our priorities so out of whack that we'll be able to travel to distant planets before we figure out all there is to know here on Earth? It's a very scary thought.
I often feel like I'm one of the few people that pays attention to the world around me and considers what implications our decisions will make on the future. Our leaders (the whole system in general; mayors-president) say they have the future in mind, but seldom back their words up with action. Global warming is a prime example of our society's apathy towards the future. So many people only understand or care about their immediate comfort and I think that's really sad.
I can't speak for the writers of the stories that I mention earlier, but I am very curious as to why they envision a future swarming with technology beyond our dreams and people still in wheelchairs. I would like to think they are trying to prove some profound point, but I am banking on the theory they just see handicapped characters as more likable and sympathetic. I wonder if it ever crosses their minds how absurd (or how negative)it seems to portray humanity's future still riddled with disease and paralysis. I'm not saying our future should be envisioned as a Utopia, but you'd think we'd at least have cured cancer and AIDS and be able to repair the central nervous system after some two hundred or more years of research.
Maybe I just over analyze things too much. I'm curios to hear other people's opinions and theories.
FYI-I'm also a stickler for movies following the original plot of the book, but that's a topic for another blog!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Hacked
I’ve been playing this online game called MapleStory (MS for short) since 2006. A friend introduced me to MS when I was still living in the nursing home. I was big into gaming before my accident & it stinks that I can no longer play 95% of my console games. At the time of my accident I had Nintendo Gameboy SP, Gamecube & Xbox. Since I can’t use my hands I’m limited to hitting one key at a time with my mouth stick. Most modern games require multiple button combos to play, so when I found MS it was awesome to be able to adapt the controls and be able to play with my mouth.
For those of you that aren’t gamers, MS is what you call a MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game). MMORPGs consist of thousands to millions of players. You create a character and name and you can play with and interact with other real life people. Most MMORPG have loose open ended storylines that allow you to choose from a variety of things to do and allow you to customize your experience. The game worlds are online social communities which allow you to meet new people, play with friends and work as a team, to meet objectives, win achievements and/or complete quests. Typically there are specific class types, which you choose from early on such as; warrior, mage, archer, bowman, ninja and pirate. Some games offer subclasses as well. Your class determines what kind of equips, weapons and items you’ll need and which skills you’ll acquire. You advance in level and skills through gaining experience, which is usually given in points that correlate to the monsters you kill or as rewards for completing quests. Each subsequent level requires more experience points than the last level and special abilities and skills are usually increased with each level. Some MMORPGs charge subscription fees to play (like World of War Craft), while others offer free access. Although MS is free to play, there are tons of optional items you can buy to enhance your game play. In both types of MMORPG you gain an in-game currency, which you need to buy equips, weapons and items. In MS the game currency is called “meso.” In a free access game like MS it becomes increasingly harder to rely solely on game currency alone, so many people buy the optional currency to take advantage of the specialty items. In MS the cash shop items are purchased with “NX” which you can buy on the company game site or in gift card form.
Maple Story is unique in that it is a 2D side scrolling format; similar to the old 16bit systems, like SNES and Sega Genesis. Its cute anime inspired look and overall game design make it a family friendly game. The monsters and environments are adorable (most) and although you kill monsters, there isn’t the guts, gore and realism of other contemporary games. For the most part teamwork is promoted over competition, as there is little player versus player game play.
As I mentioned before, I was still living in the nursing home when I started playing MS. My time spent at the nursing home was the hardest and darkest period of my life. I was extremely depressed. Maple Story provided me with a much needed escape from reality. As corny as it sounds, MS played a huge role in helping me retain my sanity that first year post accident. It was a distraction from my sad situation. It gave me the opportunity to meet new people and hang out with friends, without ever leaving my room. In Maple Story I am the same as everyone else; no one can tell I play with a mouth stick unless I choose to tell them. Given my situation, it’s a good feeling to be able to fit in and feel equal to everyone else. MS gave me a few hours every day where I could escape reality and not focus so much on my sadness.
Gaming can be very addictive and there was a time when I played MS at least five or six hours every day. I don’t play nearly as much now, but it is still an enjoyable part of my life and I often use my time online to simply socialize. I’ve met some wonderful friends through MS, from all over the country (as well as a few other countries) that I would’ve never met otherwise. I have a lot of free time, being unemployed. Since I’ve been back in my own apartment I’ve become more involved with advocacy work, for finding a cure to paralysis. I’ve had opportunities to exhibit my art and have to split my time in the chair between work & play, so to speak. Overall, if I were to calculate all the time I’ve spent playing MS this past 3 ½ years, I’m sure I’ve easily invested several weeks of my life online. That probably seems excessive, but you have to keep in mind that I have way more free time than the average person and the first year I played I used MS as an escape. Being newly paralyzed and living in a nursing facility is a reality I’m sure anyone would like to escape.
I know a couple of people that play MS without spending money on NX, but on a whole, I’d say the vast majority of players invest in NX. It is near impossible to keep up with friends (level and skill) without NX. When I first started playing in ’06 the game environment was much smaller and most NX items were just covers for in game equips and weapons that didn’t have a functional purpose; purely cosmetic. As the game has grown, so has the cash shop. There are now certain aspects of the game that can only be accessed with NX (such as Amoria party quest). Most NX items expire in 90 days, so if it’s something you feel you need you basically end up spending what you might spend on subscription to other games. Since I can only hit one key at a time with my stick it has become increasingly more difficult to play without NX. There are certain items which I buy regularly to be able to play on par with traditional players (people that play with 10 working fingers). I rely heavily on my pet and pet equips to pick up items, mesos and use potions. If I had to pick up items myself or heal myself it would be too frustrating to play once I reach a certain point. Fighting monsters gets harder with each level and I can’t hit two keys at a time, so without NX items I’d have to constantly switch between attacking and healing. Not only would it slow me down, it would force me to waste tons of mesos on extra potions. Without a pet, I’d die very often, which is frustrating and wastes time and experience points. I keep a regular stock of safety charms; in the event I do die my charm saves me from losing experience. At high levels (120+ out of 200) it can take hours, if not days to gain a level, so if you die without a charm you waste a significant amount of time. There are special tickets which double points and drops. I buy double experience regularly. I level much slower than most players as is, so 2xs experience helps me to keep up with friends. On average, I spend $40-$60 every 90 days, which is comparable to subscription fees. There are times where I’ve been playing more often and I tend to spend even more during those periods. I like NX items; they make the game more enjoyable for me. On a whole, I don’t mind buying NX. I look at buying NX like buying console games, which I used to spend just as much on, if not more.
You gain game currency (mesos in MapleStory) by killing monsters, doing quests and selling rare game items. Many people (including me) make tons of mesos selling equips, scrolls and rare items. Some rare items are monster drops, while others are won in gachapon (a lottery type game feature which requires NX tickets to play); both methods rely solely on luck. Rare items and good equips (give high status boosts) can cost several hundred million mesos! Since the prices are set by players the prices/value of items fluctuates. You also use mesos to buy potions to heal or boost stats, as well as use certain in-game services, such as; transportation between areas and item creation. I’ve easily made and spent billions of meso over the past several years. I’ve had a few lucky sales (most recently I sold an elemental wand for close to 900mil meso) which in turn, allowed me to buy really good equips and rare collector items like chairs. My account consists of a 4th job level hero (133/200), 3rd job level priest (114/200), two 2nd job characters and a low level character for storage.
The difference in buying a game outright versus subscribing to game access or buying digital items is that there is a much higher risk of losing your investment with online games. I can hold a Gameboy DS game in my hands. I know my console games are here, safe in my home, available to use at anytime and only cost me a onetime fee. Since I started playing MS I’ve easily invested hundreds (maybe even over one thousand) of dollars over the past 3-4 years. Again, that might seem exorbitant to a non-gamer, but keep in mind that console game systems cost $200-400 for the system and $20-60 per game. The good news with console game systems is that you can trade them in for a little cash towards a newer model and short of a burglary on my home, my investment is safe and sound.
Maple Story is the first and only MMORPG I’ve ever played. It is also the first online game I’ve invested real money in (buying NX). In terms of overall investment, I’ve dedicated almost 4 years of time and had built up an impressive collection of equips and items. I’ve always known that hackers existed in MS. In fact, they were everywhere when I first started playing. You could see them fighting with no damage, vacking all the monsters and items off of map, botting or stealing drops. My second year playing there was a massive hack of most guilds, in which most guilds in my server (Windia) were disbanded. Since the guild hack I’ve been paranoid to accept trade requests, I avoid hanging out in the free market and I disable my chat and trade abilities. MapleStory security has improved a lot since I began playing and I actively take my own precautions. At least six months to a year ago I switched from using Internet Explorer to Mozilla Firefox because I read about hack threats and a few friends suggested the switch as well. I’ve changed my password and pin over time and I stay away from sketchy websites. I seldom use instant messages & when I do it’s with people I know. I don’t add random buddy requests. I have a pop-up blocker and subscribe to Trend Micro antivirus software, which in theory, gives me my own firewall and protection.
All that said, I sign in to play MS today, only to discover I’ve somehow been hacked. Needless to say, I’m devastated. I could see if I was completely naïve and didn’t take any proactive steps to protect myself; the fact that I do and yet I still got hacked makes me furious as well as crushed. How much more do I have to do to protect myself? What is my antivirus doing? It’s designed to provide me with “internet security,” but given this incident, clearly my information is not secure. Putting the time factor aside, the hacker stripped my account clean off any/all equips worth meso, including (off the top of my head because 1- I didn’t keep a running inventory of my things, 2-I’m too flustered at the moment to try and make a comprehensive list & 3- It’s highly doubtful Nexon will reimburse or return anything); two devil sunrise swords (mine being 116attack), toy maker equips, round pink chair, Olivia chair, countless scrolls, all the inner tubes, another 100+ sword, all the holiday even equips I collected (which is almost all of them since Halloween ’06), priest equips that gave me +50int stat boost and the 700mil mesos I had in my storage. So in essence, I was robbed of at least $300 in permanent NX items/modifications, easily 1-2bil mesos worth of equips and 700mil in fluid mesos.
I sit here scratching my head at how I was hacked and whether or not the theft will only include my MS account. Should I be panicking because I paid bills online today? Are my bank accounts next? I feel overloaded of mixed emotions and many questions. Most importantly, is the invasion over? Although they might seem like pointless pixels to some, I was robbed of items that were rightfully mine. Unlike a house robbery or mugging, there is no insurance to cover my virtual property. I feel just as violated. It doesn’t matter that the stolen goods were virtual. They were my equips, my items, my account; paid for with actual time and money. What if anything can be done? I’m going to report it to Nexon (company that owns MS), but what will they do about it? Given how easy it is to trade, drop or sell items, is there any way to trace my things? Even if they could find all my things, what happens to the person that buys them thinking the seller is a legit player? Will they return my 700mil mesos, if nothing else? How can I prove what I lost? Then of course there’s the bigger concern of all the other potential info and virtual things I own. Why is it that I use a paid antivirus program and hackers still broke through?
I was on MS just last week and all was well. Whenever the account was hacked has got to be in the last 10 days (at most). In terms of my actions, the only thing I can come up with is the fact that I used Internet Explorer this past week. The Trend Micro software and a couple other programs use it as a default browser and a couple of flash games I like work better. I did a manual scan (right after I discovered I’d been hacked) & sure enough, it found a bunch of cookies; thanks to Explorer. Why is it that threatening things are blocked on Mozilla and get through on Explorer? I’d gladly take Explorer off my computer, but I tried that once in the past & Windows did not react kindly. Besides, the damage is done.
This whole experience has left me angry & feeling vulnerable. It saddens me to quit playing MapleStory. I’ve had a lot of fun playing. I’ve seen dozens of players come and go these past four years. If my buddy list, guilds and general experience are representative of the MS community, I’d say I’m one of the few (out of millions) that have stayed relatively active for that long. Nexon will be losing a reliable, dedicated customer; whether or not they care is questionable. I’m wondering what to do next. Regardless that it’s a bunch of pixels, it was a collection of things I worked hard to get (Hard in terms of gaming; I realize it seems trivial in terms of life and importance in general.). Legally speaking, I paid for quite a bit of it with real money. With everything I’ve been through in my life; divorced parents, the death of my sister, my accident and subsequent paralysis, this doesn’t rate as super high in terms of trauma. It is the principle. MapleStory has played an important role in my life post accident and everything taken represents a collection of things that has given me a bit of happiness, despite my lowest times. It’s not the first time important things have been stolen from me. Lord knows, my accident robbed me of an entirely different life.
The computer empowers me and gives me freedoms to control my personal info, shopping, banking, socializing, advocacy and bill payment. If I can’t trust “secure” sites like Facebook, Yahoo, Best Buy, Bank of America or Internet Explorer at all, how can I safely use the internet? I’m shaken, disappointed and confused on where to go from here, in terms of my virtual life.
For those of you that aren’t gamers, MS is what you call a MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game). MMORPGs consist of thousands to millions of players. You create a character and name and you can play with and interact with other real life people. Most MMORPG have loose open ended storylines that allow you to choose from a variety of things to do and allow you to customize your experience. The game worlds are online social communities which allow you to meet new people, play with friends and work as a team, to meet objectives, win achievements and/or complete quests. Typically there are specific class types, which you choose from early on such as; warrior, mage, archer, bowman, ninja and pirate. Some games offer subclasses as well. Your class determines what kind of equips, weapons and items you’ll need and which skills you’ll acquire. You advance in level and skills through gaining experience, which is usually given in points that correlate to the monsters you kill or as rewards for completing quests. Each subsequent level requires more experience points than the last level and special abilities and skills are usually increased with each level. Some MMORPGs charge subscription fees to play (like World of War Craft), while others offer free access. Although MS is free to play, there are tons of optional items you can buy to enhance your game play. In both types of MMORPG you gain an in-game currency, which you need to buy equips, weapons and items. In MS the game currency is called “meso.” In a free access game like MS it becomes increasingly harder to rely solely on game currency alone, so many people buy the optional currency to take advantage of the specialty items. In MS the cash shop items are purchased with “NX” which you can buy on the company game site or in gift card form.
Maple Story is unique in that it is a 2D side scrolling format; similar to the old 16bit systems, like SNES and Sega Genesis. Its cute anime inspired look and overall game design make it a family friendly game. The monsters and environments are adorable (most) and although you kill monsters, there isn’t the guts, gore and realism of other contemporary games. For the most part teamwork is promoted over competition, as there is little player versus player game play.
As I mentioned before, I was still living in the nursing home when I started playing MS. My time spent at the nursing home was the hardest and darkest period of my life. I was extremely depressed. Maple Story provided me with a much needed escape from reality. As corny as it sounds, MS played a huge role in helping me retain my sanity that first year post accident. It was a distraction from my sad situation. It gave me the opportunity to meet new people and hang out with friends, without ever leaving my room. In Maple Story I am the same as everyone else; no one can tell I play with a mouth stick unless I choose to tell them. Given my situation, it’s a good feeling to be able to fit in and feel equal to everyone else. MS gave me a few hours every day where I could escape reality and not focus so much on my sadness.
Gaming can be very addictive and there was a time when I played MS at least five or six hours every day. I don’t play nearly as much now, but it is still an enjoyable part of my life and I often use my time online to simply socialize. I’ve met some wonderful friends through MS, from all over the country (as well as a few other countries) that I would’ve never met otherwise. I have a lot of free time, being unemployed. Since I’ve been back in my own apartment I’ve become more involved with advocacy work, for finding a cure to paralysis. I’ve had opportunities to exhibit my art and have to split my time in the chair between work & play, so to speak. Overall, if I were to calculate all the time I’ve spent playing MS this past 3 ½ years, I’m sure I’ve easily invested several weeks of my life online. That probably seems excessive, but you have to keep in mind that I have way more free time than the average person and the first year I played I used MS as an escape. Being newly paralyzed and living in a nursing facility is a reality I’m sure anyone would like to escape.
I know a couple of people that play MS without spending money on NX, but on a whole, I’d say the vast majority of players invest in NX. It is near impossible to keep up with friends (level and skill) without NX. When I first started playing in ’06 the game environment was much smaller and most NX items were just covers for in game equips and weapons that didn’t have a functional purpose; purely cosmetic. As the game has grown, so has the cash shop. There are now certain aspects of the game that can only be accessed with NX (such as Amoria party quest). Most NX items expire in 90 days, so if it’s something you feel you need you basically end up spending what you might spend on subscription to other games. Since I can only hit one key at a time with my stick it has become increasingly more difficult to play without NX. There are certain items which I buy regularly to be able to play on par with traditional players (people that play with 10 working fingers). I rely heavily on my pet and pet equips to pick up items, mesos and use potions. If I had to pick up items myself or heal myself it would be too frustrating to play once I reach a certain point. Fighting monsters gets harder with each level and I can’t hit two keys at a time, so without NX items I’d have to constantly switch between attacking and healing. Not only would it slow me down, it would force me to waste tons of mesos on extra potions. Without a pet, I’d die very often, which is frustrating and wastes time and experience points. I keep a regular stock of safety charms; in the event I do die my charm saves me from losing experience. At high levels (120+ out of 200) it can take hours, if not days to gain a level, so if you die without a charm you waste a significant amount of time. There are special tickets which double points and drops. I buy double experience regularly. I level much slower than most players as is, so 2xs experience helps me to keep up with friends. On average, I spend $40-$60 every 90 days, which is comparable to subscription fees. There are times where I’ve been playing more often and I tend to spend even more during those periods. I like NX items; they make the game more enjoyable for me. On a whole, I don’t mind buying NX. I look at buying NX like buying console games, which I used to spend just as much on, if not more.
You gain game currency (mesos in MapleStory) by killing monsters, doing quests and selling rare game items. Many people (including me) make tons of mesos selling equips, scrolls and rare items. Some rare items are monster drops, while others are won in gachapon (a lottery type game feature which requires NX tickets to play); both methods rely solely on luck. Rare items and good equips (give high status boosts) can cost several hundred million mesos! Since the prices are set by players the prices/value of items fluctuates. You also use mesos to buy potions to heal or boost stats, as well as use certain in-game services, such as; transportation between areas and item creation. I’ve easily made and spent billions of meso over the past several years. I’ve had a few lucky sales (most recently I sold an elemental wand for close to 900mil meso) which in turn, allowed me to buy really good equips and rare collector items like chairs. My account consists of a 4th job level hero (133/200), 3rd job level priest (114/200), two 2nd job characters and a low level character for storage.
The difference in buying a game outright versus subscribing to game access or buying digital items is that there is a much higher risk of losing your investment with online games. I can hold a Gameboy DS game in my hands. I know my console games are here, safe in my home, available to use at anytime and only cost me a onetime fee. Since I started playing MS I’ve easily invested hundreds (maybe even over one thousand) of dollars over the past 3-4 years. Again, that might seem exorbitant to a non-gamer, but keep in mind that console game systems cost $200-400 for the system and $20-60 per game. The good news with console game systems is that you can trade them in for a little cash towards a newer model and short of a burglary on my home, my investment is safe and sound.
Maple Story is the first and only MMORPG I’ve ever played. It is also the first online game I’ve invested real money in (buying NX). In terms of overall investment, I’ve dedicated almost 4 years of time and had built up an impressive collection of equips and items. I’ve always known that hackers existed in MS. In fact, they were everywhere when I first started playing. You could see them fighting with no damage, vacking all the monsters and items off of map, botting or stealing drops. My second year playing there was a massive hack of most guilds, in which most guilds in my server (Windia) were disbanded. Since the guild hack I’ve been paranoid to accept trade requests, I avoid hanging out in the free market and I disable my chat and trade abilities. MapleStory security has improved a lot since I began playing and I actively take my own precautions. At least six months to a year ago I switched from using Internet Explorer to Mozilla Firefox because I read about hack threats and a few friends suggested the switch as well. I’ve changed my password and pin over time and I stay away from sketchy websites. I seldom use instant messages & when I do it’s with people I know. I don’t add random buddy requests. I have a pop-up blocker and subscribe to Trend Micro antivirus software, which in theory, gives me my own firewall and protection.
All that said, I sign in to play MS today, only to discover I’ve somehow been hacked. Needless to say, I’m devastated. I could see if I was completely naïve and didn’t take any proactive steps to protect myself; the fact that I do and yet I still got hacked makes me furious as well as crushed. How much more do I have to do to protect myself? What is my antivirus doing? It’s designed to provide me with “internet security,” but given this incident, clearly my information is not secure. Putting the time factor aside, the hacker stripped my account clean off any/all equips worth meso, including (off the top of my head because 1- I didn’t keep a running inventory of my things, 2-I’m too flustered at the moment to try and make a comprehensive list & 3- It’s highly doubtful Nexon will reimburse or return anything); two devil sunrise swords (mine being 116attack), toy maker equips, round pink chair, Olivia chair, countless scrolls, all the inner tubes, another 100+ sword, all the holiday even equips I collected (which is almost all of them since Halloween ’06), priest equips that gave me +50int stat boost and the 700mil mesos I had in my storage. So in essence, I was robbed of at least $300 in permanent NX items/modifications, easily 1-2bil mesos worth of equips and 700mil in fluid mesos.
I sit here scratching my head at how I was hacked and whether or not the theft will only include my MS account. Should I be panicking because I paid bills online today? Are my bank accounts next? I feel overloaded of mixed emotions and many questions. Most importantly, is the invasion over? Although they might seem like pointless pixels to some, I was robbed of items that were rightfully mine. Unlike a house robbery or mugging, there is no insurance to cover my virtual property. I feel just as violated. It doesn’t matter that the stolen goods were virtual. They were my equips, my items, my account; paid for with actual time and money. What if anything can be done? I’m going to report it to Nexon (company that owns MS), but what will they do about it? Given how easy it is to trade, drop or sell items, is there any way to trace my things? Even if they could find all my things, what happens to the person that buys them thinking the seller is a legit player? Will they return my 700mil mesos, if nothing else? How can I prove what I lost? Then of course there’s the bigger concern of all the other potential info and virtual things I own. Why is it that I use a paid antivirus program and hackers still broke through?
I was on MS just last week and all was well. Whenever the account was hacked has got to be in the last 10 days (at most). In terms of my actions, the only thing I can come up with is the fact that I used Internet Explorer this past week. The Trend Micro software and a couple other programs use it as a default browser and a couple of flash games I like work better. I did a manual scan (right after I discovered I’d been hacked) & sure enough, it found a bunch of cookies; thanks to Explorer. Why is it that threatening things are blocked on Mozilla and get through on Explorer? I’d gladly take Explorer off my computer, but I tried that once in the past & Windows did not react kindly. Besides, the damage is done.
This whole experience has left me angry & feeling vulnerable. It saddens me to quit playing MapleStory. I’ve had a lot of fun playing. I’ve seen dozens of players come and go these past four years. If my buddy list, guilds and general experience are representative of the MS community, I’d say I’m one of the few (out of millions) that have stayed relatively active for that long. Nexon will be losing a reliable, dedicated customer; whether or not they care is questionable. I’m wondering what to do next. Regardless that it’s a bunch of pixels, it was a collection of things I worked hard to get (Hard in terms of gaming; I realize it seems trivial in terms of life and importance in general.). Legally speaking, I paid for quite a bit of it with real money. With everything I’ve been through in my life; divorced parents, the death of my sister, my accident and subsequent paralysis, this doesn’t rate as super high in terms of trauma. It is the principle. MapleStory has played an important role in my life post accident and everything taken represents a collection of things that has given me a bit of happiness, despite my lowest times. It’s not the first time important things have been stolen from me. Lord knows, my accident robbed me of an entirely different life.
The computer empowers me and gives me freedoms to control my personal info, shopping, banking, socializing, advocacy and bill payment. If I can’t trust “secure” sites like Facebook, Yahoo, Best Buy, Bank of America or Internet Explorer at all, how can I safely use the internet? I’m shaken, disappointed and confused on where to go from here, in terms of my virtual life.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Technology gives a paralyzed artist a new way to express himself through art.
My brother-in-law sent me this article/video (http://gizmodo.com/5403741/eyewriter-allows-man-to-paint-despite-paralysis). It is a great demonstration of how technology can open up new possibilities & return independence to people with disabilities. As a disabled artist, I can certainly understand how liberating the creative process can be. Painting is one of few things that I can still do (with a limited amount of assistance to help set up). I feel as though I can relate to the man (Tony) in this story on many levels. He is completely paralyzed, due to ALS, but was a gifted graffiti artist before his illness. I too am paralyzed (from my chest down) and have a background in art. Prior to my accident I was an art teacher. I was also studying painting at night. The love of art & the ability to still be able to express myself through painting, has been one of the few things that gives me the strength I need to keep moving forward.I am fortunate to have a bit more function than Tony, but I know the desperate feeling being locked-in your own body.Shortly after my accident I was placed on a ventilator and completely unable to move or speak. I know exactly what it is like to have your mind racing with thoughts and being unable to communicate them. Even now, it is extremely frustrating that I can't instantaneously jot down thoughts or sketch ideas as they come to me. Although I'm sure they've developed a system for Tony to communicate his needs, I'm sure it is only a fraction of what he'd like to say. Not to mention the fact, that you can only communicate when people are with you. It becomes impossible to communicate by phone or initiate conversations. I can remember my nurses, friends and family using alphabet charts and lists to help me communicate through a system of blinks. It was an arduous task to try and hold the most basic conversations. I felt frustrated and trapped during my time spent on the ventilator.Tony's condition, ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease is progressive and I'm guessing he has lost function/mobility over time, and will unfortunately continue to degenerate in the future. I recognize the differences in our conditions, but feel the similarities are such that I can relate to Tony's situation much better than the people that wrote the article and filmed him. I can imagine what he's going through and what emotions he's feeling because I can draw from my own experiences.My paralysis is due to a spinal cord injury, which means I lost practically all of my function/mobility in an instant. After the initial impact of a spinal cord injury, the spinal cord swells and the body goes into shock. In my case, I only recovered movement/feeling in the areas controlled by the portion of spine at or above the injury site. Luckily, that meant I was able to get off the ventilator as the swelling subsided. Although it's not much, my ability to speak and move my head and neck has given me enough function to paint using my mouth. Painting has become a vital outlet for expression for me. Painting has also given me a sense of purpose.I'm not usually interested in gadgets. I'm always focused more on finding a cure to paralysis, than finding adaptive equipment. My aversion to "gadgets," as I always call them, is due in part to my stubbornness and refusal to accept my situation as permanent. Part of me feels like if I embrace life in a wheelchair whole heartily, I'm giving up my belief in a cure. I much rather invest my time/money towards finding a cure, versus the development of adaptive equipment. That said, I understand the quality of life factor and agree that gadgets play an important role in allowing people with disabilities to retain as much freedom as possible.I'm positive that Tony's quality of life has been improved by owning/using this eye writer technology. I think it's wonderful that he can express his thoughts and continue to share his artwork with the world. I've seen similar technology used to navigate the computer as well. It is amazing that these machines can interpret so many different commands from such infinitely small movements and blinks. I know that I would feel lost without my computer these days and devastated if I could no longer paint. The power of expression is an awesome thing. This eye writer technology can give Tony (and people in similar situations) the ability to express more than just his needs. He can express his thoughts and feelings through art in ways that might not ever be able to with words. Art provides an outlet for such a deep and complicated emotions and can be very therapeutic in helping people deal with traumatic situations. It's not often that a gadget catches my eye, but this is something that excited me and gave me a need to share the info with others. Brain power is so often wasted on creating trivial things or on inventions that ultimately hurt society (like bombs and weapons). I find it refreshing to see a device that has the potential to improve the quality of peoples' lives. The eye writer is a wonderful application of technology.
Monday, November 16, 2009
My new website
I'm very excited to announce that I have a new website. Although I've had a Myspace account for some time now, I thought it would be best to have my own domain. I use most of the popular social networking and media sharing sites: Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and Flickr. It gets bothersome to keep up with all of them and they can be limiting to people that don't have/want an account. My new website compiles all of the websites I use into a concise, easy to use format. My new website will be constantly evolving as I make changes and update the individual sites I use. I'm hoping it will provide all my friends, families and readers an easier way to access information and keep in touch.
My main objective for having a website is to use the web as a means to spread the word about spinal cord injuries and educate others about paralysis. My secondary objective is communicate with family and friends. Lastly, I hope to network with other spinal cord injury advocates and people that are living with paralysis.
I've been blessed to be able to share my story and feeling through my paintings and writing. I'm grateful to have been given opportunities to exhibit my work and speak. I hope I will continue to forge new connections and find new ways to keep exhibiting and educating others. I'm hoping my new website will be a useful tool to help me achieve my goals and a resource to others.
I'm anxious to hear opinions & feedback, so please let me know what you think. Feel free to share ideas or point out areas that need improvement!
www.christinasymanski.com
My main objective for having a website is to use the web as a means to spread the word about spinal cord injuries and educate others about paralysis. My secondary objective is communicate with family and friends. Lastly, I hope to network with other spinal cord injury advocates and people that are living with paralysis.
I've been blessed to be able to share my story and feeling through my paintings and writing. I'm grateful to have been given opportunities to exhibit my work and speak. I hope I will continue to forge new connections and find new ways to keep exhibiting and educating others. I'm hoping my new website will be a useful tool to help me achieve my goals and a resource to others.
I'm anxious to hear opinions & feedback, so please let me know what you think. Feel free to share ideas or point out areas that need improvement!
www.christinasymanski.com
Friday, September 25, 2009
Recent Study on Paralyzed Rats
A friend sent me an article this past Sunday about some recently reported findings for possible paralysis treatments. I thought I should share it, for those of you that might have missed the news. The full report was published in the current issue of Nature Neuroscience, although you need to purchase the article if you don't already subscribe to the journal. You can only read the abstract for free. The report can be downloaded directly on through Nature Neuroscience website. Here's the link to the Yahoo News article that my friend sent me:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20090920/hl_hsn/paralyzedratswalkagain
I'm left with many questions after reading this article. Although, I do realize that this article is just a summary, and therefore missing all the details. I'm very curious as to how this three part treatment could be applied to humans. I've heard of people having success by going through intensive rehab programs, such as Project Walk in CA. This specific program uses electric stimulation and repetitive movements, in hopes of re-teaching the body and help form new connections between the brain and spine. I've read about a couple of similar rehabs, unfortunately there are very few of these facilities nationwide and they're not always covered by insurance. After my accident, I did three months of rehab at Kessler, here in NJ. I have a complete C4/C5 injury. In my experience at Kessler, I felt the emphasis was put on educating people how to live in wheelchair, versus giving people hope of recovery. Therapists had several patients in each session, so it was impossible to receive much intensive one on one treatment. As for me, I felt like (due to my severe injury) they had given up on my "recovery" before I even rolled through the door. It would be great if there were more choices like Project Walk were available. I know Project Walk opened its doors in 1999. This new article speaks about treatments that appear to be similar to Project Walk's program. I'm wondering how similar the treatments that were given to the rats in this new study are, versus existing techniques some rehabs already use.
Although all research into curing paralysis is valuable (even failed treatments can give scientists insight to new ideas) I don't see how this particular experiment could benefit humans, given the fact that the rats are still unable to walk without the electric stimulation and treadmill. I'm kind of left thinking, "What's the point, if the rats can only walk when they're hooked up to the machine? What kind of applications could there be, outside of physical therapy?" One benefit that comes to mind is weight bearing, which is important because it helps keep bones strong and helps blood circulation. There are already various types of equipment being used in rehab facilities and in homes that allow for standing, such as tilt tables and standing frames. I've already witnessed people "walking" with the assistance of two or three physical therapists helping them to move their legs, while being suspended over a treadmill. Granted, the treatment I saw did not include e-stim, which this study does. In terms of everyday use, I doubt many people would be able to afford to buy all of necessary equipment. When I was in rehab the facility only had one setup like the one described in the article, and I never even saw it used (I speculate the reason was shortage of staff).
This technology could be used surgically, in the form of implanting wires directly to the muscles (internally). The person could then use a high tech remote control device (externally) to control their movements by pushing buttons. Each button on the remote would send a jolt of e-stim to a specific muscle, thus allowing the person the move. In fact, I've seen a similar device already being used, to help people with foot drop (http://walkaide.com/products/medicalcommunity/index.html) and for bladder control (http://www.icsoffice.org/publications/2002/pdf/m3.pdf). The perplexing part for me is how this technology could assist people with high level injuries, such as myself. People that suffer from cervical spinal cord injuries might not have any control of their hands, so how could they operate a remote device? I'm unconvinced that people with high level injuries could benefit from this type of implantation (outside of physical therapy). I can definitely see this sort of treatment being used for low level injuries, as they could control more complex remote control devices, which could potentially allow users to perform any number of movements.
As I said earlier, this study is interesting and I'm sure the doctors performing the study gained valuable information. I think it's safe to say that most doctors that are working on a cure for paralysis would all agree that a "cure" will most likely be a mixture of techniques, medicine and/or surgeries. It is doubtful that will ever be one simple solution, so is important that researchers explore all options. In my mind, immediate goal towards “curing” paralysis is focused on giving people back the freedom to care for themselves, which may or may not include walking. Personally, I'd be satisfied even if I couldn't walk, as long as I could care for myself. For me, walking again would be a very welcomed bonus, in terms of recovering my independence, but I'm not as hopeful for walking as I am for recovering enough mobility to not need help. I'm more optimistic about advancing therapies that could repair or reconnect the spinal cord. Although this study shows we might able to circumvent the connection between the brain and spinal cord all together, it is not addressing the real problem. I view this type of treatment as a temporary solution. However, I’m sure many people will consider this technology worthwhile for them and that we will see people using this type of approach. As for me, I rather not rely on gadgets. I'm still holding out hope for doctors to be able to repair the connections that already exist in my body and that used to perform naturally.
I did some digging & found the full study, available to read online for free:
http://www.nature.com/neuro/journal/vaop/ncurrent/full/nn.2401.html
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)